Voices on the Web |
Sea Love |
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
To you a mountain chases out her soils through the lost solidity of winter clothes I see, ribbon-tumbled, these streams and wider rivers across these lands, where my feet float over the green. The rushers still in awe, on their approach to you, their mouths, their last youth union with the earth tide-embraced, those fresh children, ushering the expanse of anonymity wandering an intake of salted sand, and peace at this, their mature quest. Perhaps I am among them as I walk the water’s mark. I am the mermaid, the siren, soon happily I would go into these waves and creature myself within your sheltering those tributoried churns, and drift of martyred shells, they hasten me, I am exposed to need, and recognition of the horizoned line beyond. Surely I will swim, though land-bound yet, from the water’s mouth, and see my land from another’s view. |
||
© Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Kamla, Absolutley beautiful my friend.... those tributoried churns, and drift of martyred shells, they hasten me, I am exposed to need, and recognition of the horizoned line beyond. You have my vote! Yes, I am here, but I am dead, not alive, my body goes on, my spirit has died, and I though alive, feel dead inside. "Rose Petal" |
||
AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
Nice poem. (I'm ok at writing them, not so much at critiquing them!) But that's not important. I think what's more important is not what you can say about a poem but what you feel from a poem. And I feel like yours is really good. It kinda reminded me of an old story or something... "Once I stood upon the waves, In numbing sleep, no doubt. And I struggled with the water, On it's endless route- To build itself a massive tower, Only to cause it's end. Upon those jagged rocks, They broke, over and again. Then I woke in breathless awe, Of the lesson learned: If you build yourself up too high- You'll get what you deserve." ~Kay |
||
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
ooops how did I get here? K have a smile anyway Yes, I am here, but I am dead, not alive, my body goes on, my spirit has died, and I though alive, feel dead inside. "Rose Petal" |
||
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kamla, you always write so well...this one is supurb! |
||
Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
wonderfully written. An excellent poem. |
||
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
WOW..butterfly sharer this is AMAZING.. the imagery and metaphors for the emotions are breathtaking... beautiful Kam...truley jm |
||
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Kamla, For a couple of days or more, I was beginning to wonder where you had gone... now I know where.... and you came back with this amazing, wonderful poem.... regards, sudhir Death, be not proud, though some have called thee, Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; - John Donne |
||
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
What a wealth of wonder your writing is! Please accept this humble vote from a lowly admirer (I'm writing soon. Promise!!!!) |
||
X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Ohhh *breathing again* I too want to see my land from another's view! Beautiful just beautiful ~Heather |
||
Colin Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596Callington, Cornwall, England |
Beautiful And I agree with you and Heather... I would love to see my land from another's view. To see all those things we see every day and take for granted in a new fresh light would be wonderful. Eric. "We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka. |
||
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Beautiful!!! Where's my voting button? |
||
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I think we all have need of exploring our horizons. A cogitative gem. jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
||
doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
This is such a wonderful piece of writing! You are a very talented young lady. This should have a prime spot in this book! Fabulous! |
||
Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Wow! That's all I can say in response to this awesome piece - excellent work Severn. Here, catch a vote! J. |
||
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
i'm glad you finally decided to post this yuh yuh yu huy huyhurt'sjps vote burp |
||
tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Beautiful vision, a wonderful read Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
||
Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Yes! I need more than one vote button!! |
||
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Must have been near to impossible to choose K. And I noticed that you changed the format around a wee bit! Again, love this, it touches. |
||
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Just wanted to thank you all really - for the support of this poem..I appreciate it so much! K |
||
Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
LK As you know i think this is one of, if not THE, best i've seen from you ... which means of course it's pretty good (IMHO) .. SP |
||
Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Absolutely, positively stunning. You have my first book-vote ever. --Kess YOUR LIFE IS A TEST It is only a test ... If this were your Actual Life, you would have been given better instructions! |
||
Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Fabulous water imagery, Severn, got my vote on this one! Corinne |
||
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Ok Sir P ....nyeenah to you! IMHO indeed...sticking out tongue at YOU!!! Haha..love ya... and Kess - wow...that means a hell of a lot...wow...! Big Grin! K |
||
Nara Junior Member
since 1999-10-31
Posts 11 |
Love it. Beautiful work. |
||
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
still likin' this lady! |
||
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
See above Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kamla~ Stunning imagery and flow. You are so talented. It is my pleasure to read you. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
||
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
see page 67 in the book everyone!!! ..and i still want mine autographed K There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
||
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
sigh Jamie...stop it. Lol You're so embarrassing... hugs you K |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |