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Into The Iris.......
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Into The Iris....... |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Look inside Through the old Cobwebbed windows Through the weary Weathered glass And you will see Bare and barren walls Stripped Of picture and memory And of good times past Bleached Of the vibrant colour That once was Where remnants of furniture Once lavish and soft Remain torn and Broken So that comfort is Void As they stand Defiant Upon bare Cold floors That yield No sense of home No flickering sense Of belonging In this place Where solitary sound Frantically bounces From each empty room To the next Desperately seeking The loving yellow light And warmth that Once Lived here Only to uncover The faded Grey Shadows That haunt This empty place Shadows Which reach deep Into the hidden centre Shrouding Its very core In thick Black Darkness Hiding From eyes that dare To inquire....... The burnt Charred Remains of me. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Nicely written. Enjoyed the read. |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your reply Mike - I am glad you enjoyed it. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
WOW... This is sooooo powerful. Striking imagery....I think I'll go back for another read of this one...and I'm voting for it while I'm at it!  *Krista Knutson* "We are not seperate from spirit, we are in it." ~Plotinus~ |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your lovely reply and comment Alwye - I am glad that you enjoyed this poem |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
WOW!!! I absolutely love this one it has my vote!! To love means never to be afraid of the windstorms of life: should you shield the canyons from the windstorms you would never see the true beauty of their carvings. ~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
How very sad. You paint a picture that does not leave much hope for the future. A beautiful poem. Behind the saddest of eyes you will find hope lies hope just waiting to be set free. jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
This is wonderful writing. A vacant house filled with old memories is such a bittersweet and melancholy thing. You did a wonderful job describing it.... |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your lovely reply and comment Balladeer - actually the poem is about looking into a persons soul through their eyes ( the iris), the vacant and run down house is a metaphor for the soul I am glad you enjoyed my poem. |
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Colin Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596Callington, Cornwall, England |
Oh moonshine, nicely done! I was there, staring in that dusty window, gazing past the cobwebs and wondering just what kind of people used to live in that old abandoned house. Eric. "We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
excellent writing so decriptive and detailed strong, stark imagery haunting and stirring strong impact in the emotions of the last lines. well expressed inner emotions take care jm What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly ~LaoTzeTao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
WOW!!!!!! Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
A very powerful image you have portrayed here Dear J .... Loved it! voted! Yes, I am here, but I am dead, not alive, my body goes on, my spirit has died, and I though alive, feel dead inside. "Rose Petal" |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your lovely reply and comment Eric - I am glad you enjoyed my poem Thanx for taking the time to read my poem JanetMarie - I am glad that you liked it. Thanx also for your lovely reply Thanx for your reply ESP - I am glad you enjoyed reading my poem Thanx for your reply M ( and for your vote too) I am glad you enjoyed my poem |
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