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Open Poetry #9

If He Tried Again...

jennie may*
Member

since 2000-06-17

Posts 122

0 posted 2000-07-31 11:00 PM

your hunt begins

not long from now

in a quiet moment
of my life.

you will find me
in a white room
smothering the
voices
in my head

there you will follow tradition

you will ask me how I am...

should I answer?

our love only a
bad combination of
night and day

of two pieces that
appear equal but
never seem to fit

of beauty and the beast
with
no happy ending.

You wait for a reply

big brown eyes with
more secrets that
I can afford to
discover...

perhaps I will remain
silent
staring at the
carpeted floor

or

maybe I just might
let you know that

you kept me
and still have me

locked in your
top
dresser drawer

you stole the
girl
in me

and someday

maybe you could give her back

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

1 posted 2000-08-01 04:00 AM

JennieMay~
Tender and deep ...
but mostly oh, so tender !
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

2 posted 2000-08-01 04:06 AM

Hi Jennie,
let me be frank... this evokes two sets of thoughts... one of caring and tenderness and deep love that Marge has picked out so well...
but on the other hand, I feel this is some hurt feeling in you venting out the anger in sarcastic overtones... the feeling of being used by the beast... and being possesed by the other person as only a photograph... etc... paricularly
"you stole the
girl
in me

and someday

maybe you could give her back
"
makes me definitely think in that direction... and hence this is intriguing... and that makes you a great poet....

My regards,
sudhir

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