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Open Poetry #9
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Transitory
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Transitory |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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I am gazing into a mirror in vain preoccupation, invited to pierce myself and peel back layer upon layer by a lost dreamer. I am standing here, A complex metaphor shedding engraved scales, dead skin this is, brittle monuments of collective identity. Let us begin Slice a piece off for examination blood trickles across reflective surface lay down the knife and step with in. The show begins… One droplet falls on the embryo "Wake up pretty boy from your sperm coffin*, kick the slumber of in Utero. The world awaits" then I was, a scab-kneed worm burrowing through the undergrowth strangled in the twisted roots of youth. Mutilated epidermis, sculpted puberty hatched, fuelled on contraband desire, a wet dream so close it could kiss. From the edge of premature rage the chariot of Disgust rode, torturous wheels stalks my transition. Reflect this upon my metaphor screen. I am the silent scream falling upon deafened ears. Welcome to this strange land there are mirrors where there should be stars, no body notice me as I cast no shadow upon joy nor sorrow. Iron cast bodies pray for the reflected voice, for its harsh wisdom. They lurch injecting venom in haze salvage dignity from a metaphorical mirror then there is me-identity transitory alkaline crimson fire and frost what ever is witnessed is invalidated by chaos. Omega Alpha terminated. I am searching the wilds not yet settled I gaze upon a mirror, this quest of futility, shades, glimmers resonate then evaporate tangled in a web without sleep nothing has clarity. The last great metaphor. ============================ repost from Corner Pub. First posted as "metaphorical mirror". Special thanks to LOst dreamer for the inspiration and also Patti Smith for the music and line * taken from the song "Land:Horses" "Conscience binds you in chains Trail by stone hammer and nails No-one made the holes but me Misery mourns to be devoured... All removables all transitory" Manic Street preachers - removables "I am melancholy, flower cutting through stone" manic street preachers |
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| © Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved | |||
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beowulf_26 Member
since 1999-06-29
Posts 183 |
very good use of language throughout. I liked the rhythm of the poem and the little journey it took me on. nice. Unrequited love sucks. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Well Brian as usual I was on a transitory ride through this whirlpool of metaphors. Then I say to my self, don't try to figure too much of this out because the author, by self admission, sometimes does'nt know himself. AS I ponder that fact, I realize that, this is the very reason for reading his work..... Is it a metaphorical picture of your life from birth to present painting some obstacles in the way....ha ha I think it's good fun! |
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TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
Brian~ This is great! Very powerful words, and very strong visuals! I like this a lot!  ~you reached inside, you touched my heart, and I am all the better for it~ Terry A. Woodson, Jr. |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
I stand back in AWE of your work Brian...so powerful and giving your readers much to think about...giving them a closer look at you and at themselves...great work my friend~ |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
I very much enjoyed reading this. Great use of language. I loved the pictures you painted in my head. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I certainly don't recommend this poem for those looking for "light" reading but, for those looking for excellent use of the English language in a stark, hard-hitting style this one is a must. Very well done..... |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
What a powerful work...I especially like " I am the silent scream falling upon deafened ears" never say never |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Powerful indeed! and as Balladeer also puts it as hard-hitting - atleast it hit me hard... Brian, thanks for sharing it here in Open... regards, sudhir |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
beowulf_26, thank you for your comments. ethome, "don't try to figure too much of this out because the author, by self admission, sometimes does'nt know himself" LOL. I think I have misquoted. I said that when I start writing I go with the poem see where it leads but I always know what my poems are about. This one is about identity and the thought that it is always in transition. Hence the line "I cast no shadow upon joy nor sorrow" because my mood is in constant transition. See I do know what I am talking about. Now you made me give away what the poem is about. Thanks for your wonderful words. TerryW, thank you. BDC, thank you for your very generous words. I take your comments as a great compliment because that is an ambitious with me when I write my poetry to give people "a closer look at you and at themselves". Thank you. Effigy, thank you. Balladeer, you know always very serious LOL THank you for your wonderful comments. I am blown away by them. Thank you Paula, thank you Sudhir, sorry if my poem hit you sometimes it loses the run of itself. Thank you. "I am melancholy, flower cutting through stone" manic street preachers |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
brian--quite a vibrant look inside with great use of words...you must be a poet!! |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
very well written you choose your words and fit them into the piece perfectly great work! If I should fall again, then they will laugh but what if just this one I rise? Avanti Rao |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Brian.... I enjoy free-form writing, and this is an excellent example. The pictures are interesting and vivid. Nice Writing!!! |
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