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Open Poetry #9
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The Next Time
| Open Poetry #9 |
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The Next Time |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
It's just about finished; The walls are almost Constructed again. My heart is descending back Into its place; The dust is settling In my mind. I've finally finished Sweeping up the debris From the storm; The books are back on the shelves, Alphabetically, of course. I'll have to take One more look around To check for any loose ends. The holes in the ground Are being filled in again; The burst light bulbs Are being replaced. The phone lines are up and running; The electricity is now operating. Now, Darling, just, please, Be careful The next time You smile at me. |
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| © Copyright 2000 snowpants - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Tennessee Angel Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661Tennessee |
Oh, snowpants, I do so love this one! It describes wonderfully that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling that you get when that special someone looks over and smiles. I'm sure everyone can relate to this one! Great Job!  |
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BirdeeB Member
since 2000-09-16
Posts 106USA |
I know that feeling, i get it everytime i look at my babe, hes amazing, gorgously written sweets! Birdee |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
That is one earthshattering smile. Wonderful piece. |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
TA, BirdeeB, Mark - thanks, guys, for the compliments! sp  |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
I think I remember that feeling that you have captured so well. Can you bottle it? Dee |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
WOW, whatta smile Snowpants!!!!! Wonderful poem! Bonnie |
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Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
Hey snowpants, that was a great ending! Elicited a BIG 'whoa' factor from me. That is one heck of a room-brightening smile you have described. I hope its always there for you to enjoy! Great writing! Trev. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Great poem! Great ending! I love it! Denise |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Dee: I'll definitely let you know when I find a way to bottle it! Thanks! Bonnie: yes, quite a smile, I couldn't begin to describe...Thanks!!  Trew: so do I, Trew, so do I! Thanks for reading!! Denise: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!! |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Hello snowpants, I love the metaphor....and the ending of course ...chanson~ Music, tonal clear & pure, Caresses the harshest of curves. -Song of Gesture |
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grandiloquent Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 104Midwest America |
Snowpants, this is adorable! I'm running back to reread, and the grin still hasn't faded from my first examination. Delightful. ~megan |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Thanks, Megan!! I'm glad you liked it!! sp |
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Jenn E Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589Kelowna, BC, Canada |
This was great!!!!! Heck, I loved it......great ending..........this is something I think we all can relate to...... Jenn E |
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