Open Poetry #9 |
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If I were to need you [Challenge a/p Temptress] |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
If I were to need you... A sigh of heart together we two stand A whisper of lips echo passionate bliss A taste of flesh share moments of tenderness A touch of hand caressing love's glory If I were to need you... This would be our story [This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 09-20-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 CocoBaci - All Rights Reserved | |||
Masked Intruder![]() ![]()
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
I liked the boldened part. I'm not so sure I liked how you ended it though. It was very picturesque, but the conclusion didn't fit the style. That's just me and you're allowed to ignore me. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Coco Baci, If I were going to need you... to compete with that is, I'd concede before I began. Excellent poem. Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
Coco Baci, Lovely poem, short and sweet. Well written. Dee |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Nuff said in the detailed simplicity of need. Great read and all concessions made. ![]() |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
MI... I'm pleased you stopped by and I won't shy away from your comments as this is how you feel and I appreciate you taking the time to tell me so ![]() KETHRY... You absolutely know how to make a friend glow ![]() DEE... You made me giggle when I read your comment cus that was my intent in doing the challenge with a twist Thank you for stopping by ![]() MARK I thought I'd tell ya that your smile ![]() |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Came back for a second read. Liked it as much so it's BTTT for you. Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Short and to the point. Very enjoyable. Thanks for taking the challenge. |
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