If I were to need you [Challenge a/p Temptress]

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #9

If I were to need you [Challenge a/p Temptress]

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

0 posted 2000-09-20 02:02 PM

If I were to need you...

A sigh of heart together we two stand
A whisper of lips echo passionate bliss
A taste of flesh share moments of tenderness
A touch of hand caressing love's glory

If I were to need you...
This would be our story

[This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 09-20-2000).]

Masked Intruder

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-05-23

Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets

1 posted 2000-09-20 02:41 PM

I liked the boldened part. I'm not so sure I liked how you ended it though. It was very picturesque, but the conclusion didn't fit the style. That's just me and you're allowed to ignore me.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

2 posted 2000-09-20 03:29 PM

Coco Baci, If I were going to need you... to compete with that is, I'd concede before I began. Excellent poem.

Be well
Kethry

"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

3 posted 2000-09-20 03:32 PM

Coco Baci, Lovely poem, short and sweet. Well written.
Dee

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

4 posted 2000-09-20 03:37 PM

Nuff said in the detailed simplicity of need. Great read and all concessions made.

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

5 posted 2000-09-20 04:13 PM

MI...
I'm pleased you stopped by and I won't shy away from your comments as this is how you feel and I appreciate you taking the time to tell me so

KETHRY...
You absolutely know how to make a friend glow

thanks for your sweet feedback Poet Friend

DEE...
You made me giggle when I read your comment cus that was my intent in doing the challenge with a twist
Thank you for stopping by

MARK
I thought I'd tell ya that your smile

on screen means a great deal to me and I thank you for reading this short lil verse

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

6 posted 2000-09-21 07:00 AM

Came back for a second read. Liked it as much so it's BTTT for you.
Kethry

"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

7 posted 2000-09-21 09:30 PM

Short and to the point. Very enjoyable.
Thanks for taking the challenge.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.