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The Coastal Train
| Open Poetry #9 |
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The Coastal Train |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion 
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The Coastal Train Anxiety mounting at a maddening pace Reason, no hopes of sustaining. Feel the pinch of my wet shoes, No overcoat, though it’s raining. Humming the “Umb” in umbrella, Mantra for October winds waning. In my hands your storm soaked letter Lines streaked in inky blood. Gutters clogged by gathering leaves Cause obsidian streets to flood. Cold in clinging clothes, my makeup runs Click of heels softened by mud. You said to meet at the platform, You were going back home at nine. Traffic in grid patterned slow motion, Running fifteen blocks to be on time. Prayer to above, don’t let it be too late To say what is in this heart of mine. You asked me to marry you on the thirteenth A Friday, superstitions don’t haunt your dreams. If I didn’t respond, you would be gone, The mail was late, governmental schemes. Daylight comes to an unsettled close, Beneath gas lamps the charcoal train gleams. Her whistle wails a lonesome farewell As dusk settles, men all look the same. Searching for you with vision blurred I see you scanning the throng in the rain. You can’t hear me over the din, A whisper in the crowd, your name. Determined to climb three slippery stairs No ticket to board, a dreadful mess. Sitting there, your head turned away, Body language in clear distress. Place my cold wet hand upon yours Freed of the need to suppress. Everything else disappears Realism is this lasting kiss, Disembarking while the train departs Our old lives cease to exist. In search of a church with midnight mass Two lovers headed for wedded bliss. © 2000 Corinne Bailey [This message has been edited by Corinne (edited 09-16-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Corinne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
i love happy endings - but most tickled by "As dusk settles, men all look the same," great poem Corinne |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Corinne, wow an amazing poem, great use of language so realistic... WOW.. excellent poem. The softest thing in the world Will overcome the hardest.Non-being can enter where there is no space". Taoist saying |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Thanks, Wilfred, couldn't decide whether to have a happy or sad ending, but hey, aren't there already enough sad ones? Thank you kindly, Brian! Corinne |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
WOW!  I simply loved this! The anticipation and distress showed clearly and had me just praying for a good ending. Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau" |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Corinne, loved it, just loved it... I think I get choked up by these happy endings... er, I mean I got dusk in my manly eye's.  Bravo again on this. Park |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Thank you, Park, love those happy endings, too. Thank you, Temptress! corinne |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Sweet Corinne - You chose the ending well. Only happy endings give us hope... and an uplifting sense of wellness. I'm glad you wrote this poem. I'm glad I can say that. Wonderful use of similes. I loved them all, but especially, Gutters clogged by gathering leaves Cause obsidian streets to flood. Rain in the fall evening, with dim lights reflecting from the pave, an older train station, with large trees around the station house, a coolness in the air - all of that in those two lines... wonderful! |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Bowing to your excellence and your decision to make it a happy ending. Wonderfully done. |
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