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Open Poetry #9
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Enchantment. Written with Doreen Peri.
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Enchantment. Written with Doreen Peri. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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First of all a huge thanks to Doreen for writing this poem with me, I had lots of fun but also it is such a great learning experience working with a master poet like Doreen. I can't fully express my thanks and gratitude to Doreen.  ================================================= I have spent my seconds in solemn lament, you are the centre of my daily aura. In short time you have build a world for us to inhabit; you call me to our kingdom but I am here clinging in the dead of winter. There is no middle ground, close in intimacy and remote in distance, I feel all that you show me. It is you who've worked your magic, took your wand, created my peace. You are my Magician. I was but a parlayed phrase before your incantation. You are the mystery, unfolding time from its cage, erasing distance with enchantment. It is you who have breathed our worlds together; it is you who have pulled the planets from their fixed celestial sites with your magnet and borne our alchemy. I was in a void. I was a lost urchin buried under snow. You have bewitched me with charm and spawned the constellations. I am there with you. You just cannot see me yet. A magician, I am just a Pauper drunk in your affections, and drown in your embrace, given lease of life by your breath. With much patience You have lured me From the shadows; That virgin womb where love and love loss desire and lust façade fail to penetrate. I was the broken one, porcelain child, feeble arms and nose bleed from the smack of faith. I lost trust in all, secluded in my stone chalice, my dried vice, my dawn's sentiment. Yet you seeped beneath a heavenly muse, turning with one caress all my naked fears to dust, and within our time of shared corruption we weave a womb of untainted purity. by Doreen Peri and brian madden. "I have penned epitaphs on snow, and written my legacy in dust." self quote. [This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 09-12-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Brian! RUN!!! She's gonna give you a major dose of the dreaded Sesquipedalian Horrorifical virus! Plus, she'll woo you into thinking like her, and then we'll never be able to bring you back from the edge. RUN, MAN, RUN! but not before you two collaborate a couple times more! Doreen - How could you?! He was so innocent, pure, untouched. lots of sobbing here for effect You've done well, fine lady. As has Brian. I enjoyed very much. perhaps you and I could collaborate on a poem about kitties? *hopeful, scheming eyes* |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Brian and Doreen, This is fabulously well put together. Thanks for brightening my morning. Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
hey, brian! thanks for posting this... and writing with me... you are WAY too kind in your preface... you see, folks, we decided to collaberate.. this, being the second poem we've written together (the first one being here /pip/Forum37/HTML/001437.html well, anyway, i've been in this time warp or something and brian sent me the first stanza, then i wrote the second stanza... and then he sent me the 3rd stanza and it was my turn but i think it's been a MONTH or something... LOL... so, he ended up finishing, doing the editing, tying it all together... sooo.... mostly this is brian's and brian, i LIKE IT! hehe  thanks to all who read this and for your kind comments oh, and brian... i can't be a master ... hehe... i dropped out of college after 3 years, never got my bachelors degree.. *wink*... really... way way too generous of a compliment but thank you < !signature-->~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a sincere apology and some decent poetry ~ [This message has been edited by doreen peri (edited 09-13-2000).] |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Quite an interesting read, folks. This piece sounds almost like one voice, and I'm "hearing" the brilliance within it. Very well done, to my way of thinking. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Excellent!! This just really flows so well. . . I can hear the words and see the images. . . and the command of language is wonderful. . . I just love this line, "I was but a parlayed phrase before your incantation", superb. . . More!! More!! ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I am drowning in the beauty enchanted as if in a dream chanting as if in a reverie hypnotised and in a trance . . . S p i n n i n g Heads and Tails S p i n n i n g Flips and Flops S p i n n i n g washine machine S p i n n i n g top-spin to dry --------------- My regards to the both of you... and as I still fumble for the right words, let me say, this was truly GLORIOUS poetry... Sudhir |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
oh, the both of you have done such a wonderfuljob here! just when i think things are at their best, you two went and proved me wrong!! its just getting better and better! ~Dawn "Steady as it comes, right down to you, I've said it all, so maybe we're a Bliss of another kind" Bliss-Tori Amos |
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Beth Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468WA, Australia |
~This is a very well written poem. I loved the imagery and the feeling in this. Great Job you two!~ ~Cherie~ |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
LngJ..LOL... I have my dreaded Sesquipedalian Horrorifical virus antidote tablets ready just in case. me innocent and pure who has been spreading such lies.... work on a poem together? I am game for it, thanks for your wonderful reply you crazy kid.Kethry, thanks. Doreen, no way are you directing the spotlight over to me... it was all Doreen's fault, she said poetry is cool, just write a few lines, no harm in that. THanks for being a great partner in free verse (if the poem rhymed, the pun might make sense).Ok I will shut up now. Claire, thanks for your response. Sven, wow thank you...blushing. Sudhir, even your responses are poetic... I can not imagine you fumbling for words, it would never happen. Thank you my friend. Dawn, thanks, you are too kind. Beth, thanks for the generous words. "I have penned epitaphs on snow, and written my legacy in dust." self quote. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
This is great! Open to more than one interpretation! You two have done a fantastic job putting thoughts together and having them flow out like this! Excellent! Doreen, just slap LJ over the head with a kitty  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Undoubtedly two of the most gifted writers here at Passions working in perfect unison together. What a treat!! uh, Doreen, wouldya work in unison with li'l ole me sometime....PLEASE????? |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
What do you get when you add to of the best poets together and lock them in a room together???.....Poetry Perfection (and a few broken chairs...you know poets) ...Awesome work to you both!! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Duet Suet - a treat for rare birds! And that's a compliment, folks! You two are really something, and I am sitting here in my chair, before my monitor, bowing humbly before two of the most outstanding folks we have... and I'm not trying to top anyone by saying, Thanks for Sharing... |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Wow, and wow, that goes out to both of you. What a combo. I am too embarrased to post here anymore, you guys are just incredible. cat... |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
oh a couple of collaborators huh? vell... you know vat ve do mit collaborators around here??? ve say to dem!! nice verk!! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
thank you again, brian, for writing with me... looks like we should try it again, huh? next time, i promise, i'll try to get back to you more quickly and to all who replied here, you guys are the greatest! brian and i thank you very much for reading and your generously kind compliments and comments ~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a sincere apology and some decent poetry ~ |
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nando Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 87Vaxjo, Smaland, Sweden |
Nicely written...I think the two of you really write well together... I read this while drinking a large cup of tea in the night and loved every word... thanx -nando- Ask me how to live your life, and this to you I´ll say: make your choises true and wise, so that when tomorrow will arise, you´ll smile at yesterday... |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Wellllllll....I dunno how I missed this, but WOW. Much of this was very Doreen-esque. And the rest slathered with a nice smattering of Brian, all in all a masterpiece. I really loved the phrases and word twists. It is very very motivating to me to collaborate on a poem.... I look forward to more. ~Heather < !signature--> "A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing"...George Bernard Shaw [This message has been edited by X Angel (edited 09-14-2000).] |
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