Winter Wonderland (help... the ending isn't flowing right....)

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Open Poetry #9

Winter Wonderland (help... the ending isn't flowing right....)

rosepetals25

Member Elite

since 2000-05-31

Posts 3076
PA

0 posted 2000-08-02 05:36 PM

I know it is August...lol... I must have been sick of the hot weather. I started this a few days ago.. and I just can't get the ending right. Suggestions are more than welcome..

The bitter winter wind bellows mercilessly
Against the crystallized frozen world.
The white snow fluttering down from above
Creating a soft blanket covering the earth,
Like faded scenes from an old storybook.
The trees stand tall in the bitter cold
Branches reaching in snow covered beauty.
The ice glistens off of the rooftops of houses,
Giving the world a look of make believe,
Where children can gather, laugh and play
Snowman stand crooked in the front yards
What a familiar welcoming scene
With a carrot nose and skinny stick arms,
Their clumsy stone mouths frozen in a grin
Sights and sounds serve as reminders of youth
Warming the heart through the frigid cold.

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

1 posted 2000-08-03 03:34 PM

The ending sounds cool to me. Maybe keep the ending cool, not use the word warm(know what I mean?)

Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create).

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