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Open Poetry #9
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IN ME - a cinquain round.
| Open Poetry #9 |
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IN ME - a cinquain round. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia 
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In me There is no sun Just memories of him And the time we were together In love In love I touched the sky Basking in the sunshine Seen through his eyes, touched by his lips So cold So cold My heart is now Praying for the summer Looking for warmth, I know can be In me "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Kethry...... You just taught me a new style....this is great......thank you!!! Love your writing, my friend....... Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
the structure and simplicity of this are both lovely.... i enjoyed the way you took the last line of the stanza and started the next stanza with the same line, and the form of the words, almost cascading down and fading out... thanks for the read, kethry. good work!  ~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a good apology and some decent poetry ~ |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very good, Kethry! Well done! Denise |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
So lovely when a happy heart touches the sky So sad when a lonely heart stops to cry. Sorry about that..just feeling my feelings. I enjoyed reading your lovely poem...James |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kethry~ This is really a pretty form and you worked it well. I did enjoy the hope shared - 'Looking for warmth, I know can be In me' Very nice. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Perfect - AND beauthful !!! ~Immature love says: I love you because I need you. Mature love says: I need you because I love you. ~ Erich Fromm ~ wilfredyeats@hotmail.com |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Very nice. I enjoyed muchly. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Thank you Sunny1. I can't claim credit for this style, because MMoonchild did it so well before me, I simply read up about it and copied her style. Doreen, Thank you. I could be wrong but that is what a cinquain round is supposed to do. 2 syllables 4 syllables 6 syllables 8 syllables 2 syllables. start again Dysynder, Thank you for your kind words. Jmlee, I just love it when your emotions lead to such beauty. Marge, Thank you. You honour me with your comments. For your form is perfect. Wilfred. Thank you for the capitalised and I appreciate it. Mike thank you so much, for stopping by. "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
oh Keth, this is lovely! always outdoing yourself! ~Dawn "Steady as it comes, right down to you, I've said it all, so maybe we're a Bliss of another kind" Bliss-Tori Amos |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Thank you Dawn, you are always the charmer. Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Kethry O dear friend... This is wonderfully done... Much enjoyed this form... and content regards, sudhir |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Kethry, I loved this! Thank you for introducing this form. Your poem is as lovely as they come! Liz |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Kethry, Great form, wonderful example! Thank-you! |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Kethry - Thank you for describing this form of poetry. I think I'll give it a try. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Keth, WOW...I love this...so simple yet with such amazing images and thoughts...beautiful |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
A wonderful write, I loved the feeling and the images it presents....*S* Your aroma still lingers when I stand there, still on soft ground, still lingers as the ocean mist spreads you over me I find peace ~LC~ 99 |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Such execution of style flow and masterful use of words. Excellent job on this one. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Sudhir, you honour me with your thanks, you make me proud by calling me friend. Thank you Elizabeth - Thanks for stopping by, compared to your work mine is a small tribute to poetry. Debbie, thank you so much. Long John Ag, thank you for your sensitive reply. Truce, while you write a round to knock my socks off with its beauty. ok Paula- as always thank you. Greeneyes. Thank you for the comments and thank you for the smile. I collect them you know. Mark. Thank you for such a stylish response. Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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