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Open Poetry #9
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Pained Upon (My 500th post I think)
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Pained Upon (My 500th post I think) |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA 
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Pained Upon Everyday, if and when, the mornings rise And I look in that mirror to see hazel eyes, When green with the envy of a beautiful day Or gray with the solemness coming my way, I am pained upon, when they have shaded to blue. Wondering how much more, of a loss am I due. Death overtakes me, another one gone. Aged, yes, still, I hate waking each dawn, To the news of a loss, of a loved one again Or the loss of a loving, a wonderful friend. Dismayed and in darkness, I wish maybe to be Even contemplating a grave jump for me. When the morrow or next day brings funeral rites I may just be the fill-in, just covered in site. Will be fine with me, now I am tired of life And of nothing but hurting and hardships and strife. So when all see me lying there next to her box, I will be ever greatful, as time ticks it's tocks Just leave me my misery, leave me alone. I have lost all I want, all I am, all I've grown. No more feelings for me, no more loves to acquire. No more life do I seek, no more passions, desires. I've been pained upon much, and it won't go away The tears now have emptied, no more pain words to say . Tomorrow's the day, if not Friday will be It's the ending for her, and the ending for me. M pained 8*2*2k |
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| © Copyright 2000 Maureen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Your greatest gift is still active and there are things for you to write about so that I, and others, can experience the contact with your beautiful words and your "soft smiles" friendship. Please don't stop writing to the hearts that need the understanding and love. |
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T McCoy Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 186 |
i hope i'm not reading too much into this; when i had my "gun in mouth blues" it hit me that once i'd reached that point, where i just didn't give s**t anymore, i might not have been able to smile much, but i sure found at lot of things in life to laugh at. i hope you can too. take care and remember that you've got a family here, too.  Tony |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
This piece is oh so WOW but it really did sadden me to read  Hugs Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Sorry I'm back After reading and feeling so sad I forgot to say CONGRATULATIONS on 500th Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
My grandmother once said, after I lost a dear friend, that it was my duty to go on and keep the memory of my friend alive. As long as I did that, my friend lived on. Words can never bring them back, but your beautiful words are helping others in the same situation..... Keep writing them.....we all want to help you celebrate your 5,000th!! I have but one goal in life......... To make you smile! ~~Sunny~~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Excellent writing...when pain or loneliness seems to be accumulating we just have to go on and believe that there will come a moment, a day, when it will be our turn for happiness...that thought alone provides me with hope for the future...James |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
there are some days E. you just wish to wipe out of mind and of your life...and I can do that in words...like now...another family death another lost relationship...those are what these words are about M |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
My heart aches with the sorrow that pours from your pen MMoonchild. I've known these feelings myself, and I too find comfort in writing them down. Somehow, with writing ... there is a release that allows you to deal with the pain, and move forward toward a more positive light. Your beautiful talent with words, allows you this gentle option ... take care. Best wishes and prayers, /Kit |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
On first read I liked this poem, But the opening two lines seems a bit hesitant to the flow, Everyday, if and when, the mornings rise And I look in that mirror to see hazel eyes, I rewrote them only to give example of what I mean Each day whenever finds the morning rise I look in that mirror seeing hazel eyes, I think this flows a bit better, The ,if and when, breaks it too early and then you don't do it again. After this I was sweep away by the flow, Perhaps you intended the poem to have that in it, But, my friend, it is the only detraction. Gloom |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
MMoonchild, Every time that I stop by I find another excellent work by you. I must compliment you on your talent, and may it always be there and grow. |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
T McCoy you didnt read too much into it...sometimes I wish I didnt exist anymore... and that was yesterday..today is a bit better and I never know what tomorrow will bring thank you for you kind thoughts ~~softly sighing Maureen |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
tracie66 thank you for the congratulations and sorry it wasn't a happy poem..I just had that kind of a day and I write as a diary...so that is what erupted from me ~~soft thanks, tracie Maureen |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
We all have our up and down days. Many times words are written of what we see around us and not necessarily self experiences. This is very well written and I enjoyed it. Congratulations on your 500th post. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Excellent. . . you have said much here. . . Well done, and congratulations on your 500th!! --------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
Sunny1 gosh I thought it would take forever to reach 500 let alone 5000... ~~soft smiles and thanks Maureen |
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sosweet82 Junior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 17Phoenix, AZ |
I feel for you, I just lost a bestfriend a few weeks ago. It was so very hard. But it is getting better.I hope you will soon start to feel better. I hope that you writing that helped you to get some of the pain out. It was wrote from the heart and we can all see that. Samantha |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
James and Kit..thank you... yes..I know there is always a tomorrow...sometimes it just doesn't come fast enough ~~soft smile Maureen |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
well gloom..when I wrote this I wasn't thinking that the days would rise for me..I was thinking they may be ending for me...it was that bad of a day or so....do you understand now..why it was written that way..I thank you for your offer of words and kind comments... ~~soft thoughts...and I better get this one thing written and go to bed or just stay up again M |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
OK Bill ...want to be my agent...you always have so much support for me ~~softly hugging you Maureen |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
Eloise thank you for your kind responses..yes that day was not a good one..today is a bit better... ~~soft smiles Maureen |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
Sven..thank you for the congrats..I can't believe it was that quick for me *s Samantha I see you are new here...welcome ...you will love it... btw you joined on my anniversary..*s thank you for your kind thoughts and words...I am still trying to release pain and disappointment that has built up..and it seems the poetry is my new release ~~softly Maureen |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Death and loss of any type is never easy and I hope you find release in your words enough to comfort you. This was a sad one to say the least but there can always be a celebration of sorts for most of these loses if we only look at the other side for one moment....wonderful piece and congrats on your 500th and let's see you at the 1000 post with a happy one from real life. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Congratulations on your posting milestone ~ I really found myself relating to your well expressed poem, as I have experience so much loss in my life, (my husband when I was a very young newlywed, twins before their birth, four dear friends, my mother, my sister, grandmother, stepfather, uncle)...and there are days when I can only conclude that I have died right along with them, especially recently, after caring for my sister for two years and finally losing her to cancer in December. I find that I must remind myself daily that Life is precious. It holds miraculous moments. It is up to us to allow them to happen. Thank you for sharing this poem here...you've expressed yourself beautifully. Take care, ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
You know Mark...I had expected to write something wonderful and happy for that 500th..it just didn't happen that way ..I should have posted one of my nicer ones from a year ago...anyway I will work on Happy for the next for sure... thank you for your thoughtfulness Maureen *now remember I am a child of the moon and with that comes mood swings that can knock you off your feet...*s |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
Claire..I feel so petty at the moment after reading this...and yes I know the feeling of dying right along with them..I only have more to look forward to as I am in that perfect age of maturity ....and I expect to be the one to care for my mother when the time arrives (hopefully not for awhile yet), And I agree life is precious and I think that is why it affects me so...But it also helps to have someone to hold and comfort you and You,they...and not add to the feelings of emptiness..and yes poetry helps and friends help but I wrote this once in anger mostly and this is where I stand in my life... Pillar To Pillars One And All I used to be that PILLAR, standing so tall and erect. No matter what the problem, I was always there to direct. A shoulder needed to lean on ... Advice to give and share ... But whatever happened when I needed, that special someone to care? For years and years my friends would come, no matter if night or day. I was always here for them. And here they could always stay. A house burned down ... A divorce that's new ... A death in the family ... A babysitter, too. I don't know when it happened. And I don't yet understand. How can they leave me stranded? I feel like I'm second-hand. Do you think it's because they can't bare the thought of seeing their PILLAR fall? But they could help me stay erect, if they really cared at all. So 'CHEERS', to all you PILLARS, and I will now be the first, to thank you all for caring and dealing with the worst. I've heard it said somewhere, I think, that if you're the PILLAR to your friends, the day you need one for yourself, is the day your friendship ends! 1/24/99 thank you again Claire ~~Maureen |
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cathybohannan Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 140Paintsville,KY |
I think this is a very touching poem, and it really shows how you feel. Congradulatons on your 500th post.Look forward to see some more of your poems. |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
thank you Cathy... you may get tired of my poems after awhile... I am looking forward to more of yours (and are you Mark's sister ..I read responses and try to figure out who is who on here..but it isn't easy) ~~soft hugs Maureen |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
MAureen, phew this poem bleeds, first of all big hug. I can relate to this, moreso in the past but there are some days where sleep seems like the best thing. Take care, peace and stay with us. We need your poetry. "To the centre of the city where all roads meet, waiting for you,To the depths of the ocean where all hopes sank, searching for you," Joy divison |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
Brian...that's what I do ...sleep away my pain every day..and yes I do feel like I bled...and thank you for your reading me and kind words... ~~softly Maureen |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Maureen, What a sad poem. I can feel your pain jump off the page.. I just want to give you a big hug. Just remember you have so many people that love you and never give up faith. rosepetals |
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ddgoose Member
since 2000-07-25
Posts 250Baltimore, MD, USA |
Your poem depicts how many of us feel with death, dying, and depression. You have done a marvelous job putting it in writing. Congratulations! |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
a big hug is always welcome, rosepetals thank you *s and ddgoose the three d's that sounds about right...thank you for the congratulations ~~soft thanks Maureen |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
ouch...ooh ouch |
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