»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #9
»
Buy One - Get One Free (Good Humor Day)
| Open Poetry #9 |
|
Buy One - Get One Free (Good Humor Day) |
|
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
|
BUY ONE - GET ONE FREE You get two for the price of one! Can it be? I’m just buying one and then getting one FREE? “I’ll take two of those please”, I said to the clerk. “Then that’s four to be bagged”, she said with a smirk “No, No, I want two, One is paid, One is free” “Then your not getting two, as you stated to me Your just getting one, and the other one’s free You should have said ONE and not TWO, don’t you see” “All right, it is ONE then, but please bag me TWO One is on me and the other’s on you” She laughed as she bagged them all shiny and new “ Nothing is free, dear, you’re paying for TWO” “Paying for, two? I’m just paying for mine The second is free like it says on the sign” “You’re paying for both, dear, it’s as clear as the day For the first one is worth only half what you paid So your getting the two and your paying their worth It’s the greatest marketing tool here on earth Not only are you paying the regular price You’re paying it ONCE and you’re paying it TWICE! The free one’s not free, dear, you’re just buying TWO For the price of just ONE, but the joke is on you” “Now let me see if this makes any sense I paid a whole buck but it’s worth fifty cents But since I have two, their value ‘s a buck But by my calculations, I think I’m in luck Since there only worth half , I was gypped out of TWO So you owe me TWO more, then I’m even with you So I emptied the TWO on the counter once more I said clerk, please reimburse me for FOUR Since the sign says a buck for each one on the rack I’m giving you FOUR and get FOUR dollars back” She reluctantly gave me four bucks from the drawer And was scratching her head as I walked out the door She reached in and pulled out a pencil and pad As she quietly whispered, “ I think I’ve been had” Elizabeth Santos |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
ha ha ha what fun!!! "YOU CAN HAVE ONE FOR THE PRICE OF TWO..." how's that??? regards, sudhir |
||
rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Elizabeth, LOL. I had to read this twice..lol. Very humorous.. even though my brain is in a swirl.. I should have had my first cup of coffee first..lol  rp25 |
||
|
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Elizabeth OK, my second cup of coffee for the evening, read your poem twice. Laughed twice as hard the second time. I think I got my money's worth. Great, Great poem. Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
||
|
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
ROFLMBO-I loved it .... I Loved it ... I loved it. I worked in the retail industry at many levels for years and I found this one so hilarious but also so realistic true. I commend you on your vision and wit and now I am off to read it again as I loved it so. |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
AHA!!! So that's how you get $20 change for spending $10... I always wondered how that worked... I LOVE THIS!!!! |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Sudhir, "One for the price of two" That is American department store phylosophy. Thank you Rosepetal, Yeh, my head was swirling when I wrote it. Always have your coffee before reading confusing poetry Kethry, If you read it twice, you got 4 laughs Mark, I'm also in the retail business, that's how I was able to write this! Nan, Glad you enjoyed this. |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I'm so confused! LOL Is this why sales are so popular? They're so much fun to read about in poetic verse! |
||
|
doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
ROFLLiz- you've outdone yourself with this one... what a riot!!! you should work in advertising... i might just have a job for you... mine! hehe... very funny stuff  |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Liz--this was great fun...I don't know how you even thought of it, much less wrote about it...my mind is twirling..I must go try that cup of coffee. |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
PDV, I'm as cofuse as you are Doreen, I do some advertising, but not this kind. But it's easy for me to read into an ad Matie, Pour me one while you're at it Liz |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
 ROFL ... Liz! I found myself re-reading each verse as I went, just to keep up ... wonderful humour my friend!! Great big chuckles, just what I needed!!! Thank you and best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
~LiZ~ Very clever and sooooo funny! You are too much, girl I remember this poem from a while back and I love it even more now. This was a great addition to Nan's challenge  Take care, Melissa Honeybee< !signature--> The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams [This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 09-04-2000).] |
||
|
JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
LMFAO!!!! This is too funny....i have confused a teller or two myself and if you knew me it wouldn't come as such a surprise....but this is too funny!!!! I am still trying to quit laughing!!! Julie :) |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Kit, Melissa, and Julie Ann, Perhaps the four of us should go shopping togeher. The salespeople will never be the same Glad you enjoyed it Liz |
||
Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Hi Liz, This was a delight. (laughing) You also had me scratching my own head. Wonderfully written, my friend. Best wishes! Michael Proust- "Love is space and time measured by the heart" |
||
|
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
How about this: Satisfaction guaranteed or no money back! ha ha ha Elizabeth |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Michael, Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. There's a little double talk in there, that's why you and the saleslady are both scratching your heads Elizabeth, Great slogan! How aboutthis: (Notes in margin of retailers journal) Suggested reatil price 599.00 Sale price for suckers 499.00 Actual Value 199.00 But for you, my friend only 99.00 Cost for retailer 24.00 |
||
|
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
ROFL! Loved those retailer notes, Elizabeth! Elizabeth |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
