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Open Poetry #9
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Balladeer's White Line Fever Event
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Balladeer's White Line Fever Event |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion 
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Once, when Balladeer was truck driving, out in sunny CA, He stopped at a local truck stop he saw along the way. And as he approached the entrance to have himself a beer, He read a sign that said, "No nerds are welcome here!" He sidled up to the bar and settled down for a spell, When the bartender came along, and said "What do I smell?" "We don't like any nerds in here. I'm advising you to leave." ‘Deer said, "I'm hauling PCs, and the smell has hung on me." A little later a nerd walked in, his glasses with white tape, And when the bartender saw him, he didn't hesitate. He swung up his shotgun and blew the poor nerd away, And ‘Deer nearly spilled his beer with the spectacle it made. ‘Deer shouted, "You can't do that! There wasn't any reason!" The bartender replied, "It's OK, good buddy, because it's open season." "You see, out here in Silicon Valley, we're being rapidly overrun By an overpopulation of nerds, so we've been cleared to hunt." With that ‘Deer finished his brew and headed out to his truck, He figured he'd make it home by night with any kind of luck. But then a car cut him off and he swerved and lost his load As the PCs fell out of his truck and scattered across the road. Before he could even stop, the BMers and Volvos were there, Pocket protectors, Reeboks, PDAs were everywhere. So ‘Deer grabbed his 45, and started a shooting spree, He figured he's get his limit of nerds among all those PCs. A cop pulled up, his siren blaring, and yelled at ‘Deer to stop, "You can't shoot all these nerds. Where the heck do you get off?" ‘Deer said, "I thought it was open season so I didn't hesitate." "Well sure it is," said the cop, "But it's illegal when you use bait!" That 'Deer! He never takes the time to read his hunting license! |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
ROFL!!! Lngjhn, this is too funny....hehehehhee...I absolutely love it!  *snortles* Using bait...OMG!!!! |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
more smiles...too too much you guys M |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
Absolutely Halarious... how do you come up with this stuff... "But it's illegal when you use bait!" -jaimie Website: www.ladysixstring.com |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Toooo funny! I've got Kevlar vests for sale. Anyone want one? (Everyone knows a PC nerd never sits at the PC unprotected!  ...chanson~"Music, when soft voices die, Vibrates in the memory..." P.B. Shelley |
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fjones Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 98MS |
Very cute poem! I good read. |
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fjones Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 98MS |
A Good read--Funny! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
ROFLoh Deer.... i can see your memory has been rammed with some great old jokes lately..... someone may end up trying to monitor your writing if you keep filling the stories in with our favorite Bard....!  seriously, though, i might have a joke or two i'd like to see penned and you will be the very first person i think of to write them up.... great job, you feline abuser, you!!  |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
well I always wondered why he smelled like bait!!! nice parry captain long john.. got your red shirt on? |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Thank you one and all. I would love to say these are all old stories, but these things really DID happen *smurk*. Doreen - please feel free to pass the stories along. I'm sure that 'Deer's legend will be well-preserved. *veg* |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Yanno, Hawk - I haven't quite forgotten the shirt-and-britches tale you so scathingly recounted for all these land lubbers. Needless to say, I have serious hangups now whenever I wear a pair of khakis. Of course you know (in my best Bugs Bunny voice), this means WAR!!! lol |
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susanbartee Member
since 2000-08-15
Posts 119Channelview, TX USA |
LngJhn, I love this, it is so full of imagination as with all your pieces I've read and I always look forward to your next. So very funny! I loved the ending!! |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Me thinks this cowboy was there at the bar. Quite a hilarious tale and I shall be on the lookout for Balladeers revenge.lol...watch your back.  |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
LngJhnAg~ ROFLMAO!! This is great...Very fun to read. -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Long John. This is a funny poem, BUT I've heard that joke already. Still well put together and what are we, if not magpies at heart.(Magpies collect everything) Love the challenge. Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
LongJohn...you're BAD...cute, but BAD! |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Thank you one and all. And... Kethry.. I confess, this is not an original story, but I'll bet you've never seen it put into rhyme. That is the challenge - to keep it clean, make it rhyme, and save the punch line for the very last line. Anybody, after all, can cut and paste a joke from somewhere else. The fun lies in the writing, which is precisely why I did it. And having a Class guy like Balladeer for my foil makes it fun, too. Needless to say, if I could come up with original material, I'd be writing for somebody at the Improv. So... Here's my challenge... Recall a favorite story, and turn it into a clean-language, rhythmical, rhyming verse. Do not use the punchline until the last line of the last stanza. And make either Balladeer, Rebel or Toerag the foil (this is so I don't become the Forum Foil - heh heh). |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
LongJohn, you're getting more mileage outta me than a set of Firestone tires, which, by the way, I just sent ya for your birthday...see ya REAL soon! |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
One question - Who's Toerag? And what can you tell me about him. Sorry never could count. Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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