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Open Poetry #9
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Fantasy ......(reworded)
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Fantasy ......(reworded) |
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JnR4eva Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 377Bronx, NY |
I will admit that this is quite a reader. If you can bare with it, I thank you  Fantasy The lights had dimmed down for the hour arrived at last. The stage was set for the performers, who'll act a play from the past. A play which receives raging reviews, seen many times before, from the only critic and audience member who shall pass through those entry doors. The stage is a meek wooden thing with florescents highlighting its age. The curtains of a dusty velvet drapery, is a far cry from a New York City Broadway. In front of this stage is that single seat. A theater holding no greater than one. The curtain has ascended steadily, for the play has just begun. On the shore of a Boston beach two lovers stroll hand in hand. Their passion, wetter than the peering ocean, has the waves at their command. Soft breezes scour off crashing waves to stealthily sneak in their conversation. Yet, they only wrinkle their garments of linen and caress their gaze of adoration. The moon has showered them with its frail light while the stars have leased their dust making the sands of the beach shimmer and gloss in an intimate, passionate lust. Unbeknownst to them they had walked right into a sinkage of the land where the nymph was sternly held in her place by the affection of her man. He said to his nymph in a fretful voice, "I love and cherish thee. A life condemned in thy absence from thine is the life that wallows in misery." Thus on one knee he bent down and gazed into her fiery eyes. Placed her hand in his own and asked, "Will you marry me?" under the heaven's dark sky. "Make thee the happiest man in the world." He claimed with glassy crystal-like tears. "To reassure thee that my life will have a meaning if I shall know that you are forever near." His hand doth quiver with emotion for this was the moment he knew that his life would remain eternally void if she failed to say," I do." Wiping his tears with her index, she wondered how could she ever refuse? kneeling to be equal with her love she said, in a single breathe," I do." In a moment's time the man had the nymph in his full and caring hands, as they kissed with thoughtless avail, on a bed of passion's silken sand. The curtains came down slowly and did he that ticket holder stand clapping and cheering, " Encore, encore!" A standing ovation that did last. 'Twas the end of this flawless play and he knew it was time to leave through the dimly lit entrance of the theater he passed a playbill entitled Fantasy. < !signature--> "my love is my motivation my love is my inspiration perception of this poem is your interpretation" -- rlt [This message has been edited by JnR4eva (edited 08-29-2000).] |
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Steve B Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 140Southern PA |
J ~ I enjoy long story poems and yours is well worded and the story held me through, I have written many long poems and used a couple of similar patterns as yours, until I was shown ballad styles, and I quickly adopted a modified ballad form that I use a lot especially to tell stories of length... though some find it too rigid for them to write comfortably in, I found the more I used it, the easier it was, and the read from it flows so nicely.. In fact I believe you read one of mine in that form already.. "A Kiss of Ecstasy" was in that form... If you would like to read more of that type, on the home page of my site, you will find a Fantasy Fiction Story I have begun that is written in ballad form.. parts I an II are available It is called "Lost" and there are other examples throughout my poems along with a wide variety of styles and themes. I enjoy all of what you write... and thanks for time in reading mine... Steve B The 440 ZONEhttp://www.geocities.com/ericb52/ |
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Kid Pedestal Junior Member
since 2000-01-04
Posts 26Chandler, Arizona |
Wow.... This is a very emotional piece, and I have to admit, that it made me think about my Angel. |
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JnR4eva Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 377Bronx, NY |
steveB... thank you for your kind words, i am really a novice onto the poetry scene and every bit helps when it comes to forms and styles and format and all the things that make poetry work, as i read this poem again i found it hard to read so i have made some changes but it still isnt as smooth as i would like it so i am going to work on it...i found what you have given me VERY useful and i thank you for that much...next time i will keep a ballad on mind, even though i had no idea thats what i was doing lol....thank you for your kind words and help. it is much appreciated to kid pedestal.. thanx for taking time out to read my work...i enjoy ur comment and i hope the best for you in Passions i will read up on more of your work int he future "my love is my motivation my love is my inspiration perception of this poem is your interpretation" -- rlt |
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