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Mike
Member Elite

since 1999-06-19

Posts 2462

0 posted 2000-08-27 02:28 PM

I stood upon the second tee,
...par three, an easy swing,
Two 0 Four, a creek in front,
...I reach for faithful Ping,
Feathered three iron with a fade,
...ought to be enough,
I eye the pin with fierce resolve,
...who said this game was tough?
My backswing's slow and easy,
...my knees are slightly bent,
With a stroke that Hoganesque,
...the ball to green is sent.
The ball flies like an arrow,
...towards the distant pin,
Oh my gawd! I hold my breath,
...I think it might go in!
But then a sudden gust of wind,
...comes from forth the south,
I shan't repeat the words I said,
...that spewed forth from my mouth.
I saw the ball sail towards the creek,
...I soon would see the splash,
I yelled to golf gods high above,
...why must you my hope's dash?
But then a turtle in water swam,
...my ball hit on his shell,
Bounced up to the distant green,
...I thought, Oh what the heck, (sp)
The ball rolled straight towards the cup,
...on undulating green,
And then it stopped a foot too short,
...my gawd, golf gods are mean.
I grabbed my putter from my bag,
...without another word,
I thought as I approached my ball,
...at least I'll get my "bird."
A straight-in putt of just a foot,
...could sink with my eyes shut,
I prayed to golf gods up on high,
...please let me sink this putt.

Ode to Golf (or as the Tiger Turns)

I had an early tee time
                ...I stood upon the box,
                Big Bertha at the ready
                ...In silence, no one talks,
                With grunt I take a mighty swing
                ...The ball I cannot see,
                Then I hear the laughter
                ...As I walk to ladies' tee.
                From my bag a fairway wood
                ...My second stroke I take,
                What an idiotic spot
                ...To put a stupid lake.
                With my drop I'm laying four
                ...Five iron I think I'll use,
                As I stand amid the rough
                ...Another ball I lose,
                I gaze upon that dimpled orb
                ...As now I'm laying six,
                In my hands I hold a wedge
                ...An urge to burn my sticks,
                With perfect arc I strike the ball
                ...To pin in majesty,
                I stand and gaze in golfer's awe
                ...Then damn, I hit a tree.
                I hit a wedge upon the green
                ...I'm only laying eight,
                I'm forty feet from flagless cup
                ...The green does undulate,
                With trusty putter in my grasp
                ...I close my eyes and putt,
                I take a peek and see my ball
                ...Head straight to divot's rut,
                Then to my amazement
                ...The ball curves to the pin,
                Disbelief and jubilation
                ...The cup, the ball drops in.
                I turn to my companions
                ...Say, "Tiger is my name."
                This is such an easy sport
                ...O' God, I love this game.

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

1 posted 2000-08-27 02:58 PM

I loved this one. It was something out of the blue topic. Thank you sharing.

Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create).

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2000-08-27 03:10 PM

Mike~
This is a great afternoon delight.
I'm sure Seymour and Balladeer would enjoy it too !

REALLY enjoyed it.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Meadowmuse
Member Elite

since 1999-12-27

Posts 3263

3 posted 2000-08-27 05:50 PM

Tee ~ Hee'ing over this...this is just superb! You should send this to him.

Thanks for the tongue in cheek, and the not~so~tongue in cheek smiles, my friend.

~ Claire

(still grinning like a fool)

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

4 posted 2000-08-27 06:29 PM

FORE

Elizabeth

Moderator

Member Ascendant

since 1999-06-07

Posts 6871
Minnesota

5 posted 2000-08-27 08:33 PM

I'm no golfer, but I found these funny!

Elizabeth

Mike
Member Elite

since 1999-06-19

Posts 2462

6 posted 2000-08-27 11:01 PM

Xeonox- glad you enjoyed. Thank you for the reply.
Marge- I am happy I could cheer up your afternoon... *smile* you reply cheered up my evening...
Claire...I am sitting here with a large smile on my face at your tee heeing...
Nan- sheesh.. I didn't know you were a math teacher.
Elizabeth- a strong argument can me made that I am no golfer either. Glad you enjoyed.

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

7 posted 2000-08-27 11:06 PM

Fantastic Mike! May I print this out for my boss? He'd love it too!

Denise

Mike
Member Elite

since 1999-06-19

Posts 2462

8 posted 2000-08-28 07:55 PM

Of course you may print it out fair lady...
so you work for a wanna-be golfer lawyer?
as least that is what I am referred to by my secretaries...

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

9 posted 2000-08-28 08:13 PM

Yep, I think he'd agree with that assessment! Thanks a bunch, Mike!

Denise

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