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Open Poetry #9
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S.i.a.m
| Open Poetry #9 |
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S.i.a.m |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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She is a machine; a damp synthetic wish a kiss of pornography. Aching axle revolve in bliss. spinning me out upon the screen, She computes exact pleasure on my synapse, in fluid motion poetic and obscene, in low humming ecstasy I feel myself lapse. She is a conduit, breathing electrode flame, synapse charged brilliantly lit. Caressing chrome touches to claim warm skin melded to the mechanic prison. her virus plagued upon the spine, weakened flesh sinks in cerebral fusion. The veins pulse to whim through hard-line. She is domination, I cling with dependency, drugged upon networks and stations, Skin is caressed with cutting technology. Grafted in an electronic fusion, She cuts my pulse to barely a trace, I am subdued in electronic disillusion. Rebellion dies, this spirit memory will erase. "Beyond all this good is the terror,The grip of a mercenary hand,When savagery turns all good reason, There's no turning back, no last stand,"I.Curtis |
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| © Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
ok....I have to admit it.....I am jealous of your widening vision and your talent that seems to ever soar. This is exquisite in every way and in depths that I can only dream. Well done my poetic perfectionist!  |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Brian, my friend, this is deep... I think I am getting brain dead... I will come back tomorrow morning and see what I can figure out, feeling quite sleepy... and exhausted... end of the week, you see.. Have a nice weekend... regards, sudhir |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
She is a conduit, breathing electrode flame, synapse charged brilliantly lit. Caressing chrome touches to claim warm skin melded to the mechanic prison. her virus plagued upon the spine, weakened flesh sinks in cerebral fusion. The veins pulse to whim through hard-line. ====================== OH MAN!!!! THIS IS SO COOL!!!!! talk about imagery...WOW HIGH TECH!!!!! and YOU KNOW I relate to this all to well awesome poem Bri-guy... very creative and imaginative in its conception and the vocabulary choices nail and define the imagery.... DEEP DEEP...you are  later-modem-man-gator eve |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh Brian ... I loved this! You've woven this technical imagery into a masterpiece ... very nicely penned indeed! Best wishes, /Kit |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
So clever the smile may never leave my face... -jaimie www.ladysixstring.com |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Whoa...this one smacks of Geiger, and me likes mucho. Very well done, Brian; an apt portayal of our dependence upon machinery, when we forget, in time, things we did ourselves. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Okay brian, back to this one on a saturday morning... I am all "imaged" ... a damp synthetic wish .. She is a conduit, breathing electrode flame, synapse charged brilliantly lit. .. The veins pulse to whim through hard-line. .. Skin is caressed with cutting technology. Grafted in an electronic fusion, .. Rebellion dies, this spirit memory will erase. .. Very effective, very deep... and yet so precise... excellent work... regards, sudhir. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
thank you, brian, for writing this poem for me... i will always hold it in a special place in my heart *wink*  hehe.... GREAT writing, brian... you are the king of metaphor and this piece ROCKS!!! ~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a good apology and some decent poetry ~ |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
This is fantastic, Brian! You suck the reader (no pun intended) right in to this fantasy, but instead of the usual um, climax we find she's draining the life right out of you (unless I've totally missed the mark here)! Enjoyed this very much! Corinne |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
yes, corinne, i think you read it right... and brian, i'm so sorry... *sob*.... it's just this darn electronic text! hehe |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
WOW....impressive piece of writing you got going on here |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
she is a machine...am I the only one who reads a touch of humor here? Our technological love affair that brings us to our knees with power outages...hard drive crashes...email viruses...Great write Brian...makes one think of what we did B.C.(before computers) |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
whoa! fantastic description! |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
"She is a machine; a damp synthetic wish" Like your edgy method here, Brian. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
brian--great job with the techno magic word imagery metaphorically great poem!! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You certainly make it look easy, Brian, and that's hard.. Is this a love poem to your computer, by any chance? |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
LOL, I'm thinking the same thing as Balladeer. My pc is a girl too so we don't have the same type of relationship, hehe. Great work here Brian. Loved it. Juls |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Mark, I don't know what to say really except THANK YOU you for your extremely kind words. "poetic perfectionist" far from it I am Mark, still toiling away trying to get it right. THank you again. Sudhir, I know the end of week feeling well. eve, thank you from the bottom of my cybernetic heart. Kit, wow thank you. jaimie, your commments put a smile on my face too  thanks for your reply. Alicat, name dropping Geiger is a big compliment. I love the guy's work especially the stuff he did for Alien. THank your for your wonderful commments, this will be remembered when my army of Toasters and mircowaves take over the world (evil laugh). Sudhir, welcome back. Thank you for your wonderful comments my friend. doreen, who else would this poem be about? see I knew there was reason why poetry is so perfect you are a poetic machine. LOL. Thank you for your wonderful comments, king..no...more like the court Jester. LOL Corinne, yes you got it perfectly. NOw if I could just find a computer that would help me rather than try to suck out my life force (that sounded a bit dodgy). Thanks for your thoughts and for your wonderful comments. doreen, blame the text...I believe that, yeh right. Ruth, thank you so much for reading and replying. Paula, humour, the darkest kind of humour maybe, also makes wonder what would happen in an age A.C (after computers). THanks for your thoughts and for your wonderful comments. passing shadows, thank you. Claire, yes I am always edgy, poetically anyway, thank you for reading and writing. Martie, thank you for your wonderful comments, love the description of the poem. Balladeer, er...how did you find out about me and KAL? oh the shame, actually NO, lol my computer is a sexless object which I use for the sole purpose of doing legal stuff besides it is hard and plastic, I prefer soft and fleshy. THanks for your er...wonderful comments. Stop imagining me and the computer. LOL Juls, a girl computer, already maybe mine does have a sex, is there anyway to tell whether it is a boy or a girl? LOL thanks for your wonderful comments. Balladeer, see what you have started, how will I be able to show my face with all these cyber sex rumours going around about me. I shall change my name to Ickmel and move to Siberia. "Beyond all this good is the terror,The grip of a mercenary hand,When savagery turns all good reason, There's no turning back, no last stand,"I.Curtis |
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