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Madiocrity (my rep. poem)
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Madiocrity (my rep. poem) |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash 
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Ubiquitous chitiny of lunatic clicks So persuasively did they speak The facts? The facts confuse me Don’t confuse me With the facts My mind is made A made mind A mad mind Made sophisticated mad How you, O Athenians, have been affected I cannot tell, I cannot tell So persuasively did they speak I almost forgot who I was Who I am Who am I? I know! (Mad sophisticated made) I know not? The facts confuse me Don’t confuse me With the facts My mind is made A made mind A mind made mad I know! Ubiquitous chitiny of lunatic cliques Yet hardly an uttered word of truth. |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
ok jim ...since we are in the business of repeats ......lol First the detail of the form and individual lines. To convey the idea of disjointed thought and uncertainty, the desperation of lucidity trying to break through a barrage of aggressive persistence, I thought that you chose an excellent way of setting out the poem. The repetitions and the back to front sentences also worked very well to convey this. I'm afraid though I haven't really bottomed the meaning, although I do wonder whether this piece hasn't been prompted somehow by what i wrote the other day? The opening line was quite evocative for me. It recalled hot sticky nights on the shores of the Mediterranean with the scraping of the cicadas in the thick air .. used to drive me mad! The words ubiquitous, chitiny (from chitin?) and clicks all engendered the swarming insect image. Very good Jim. And while I'm with that line you again proved yourself the master of "double meanings" with "cliques" at the end of the poem ... good again! "Chitiny" btw seems to be a combination of chitin and litany ... is that what you intended? As to the overall intention of this poem, the title immediately puts me in mind of a sage philosopher being interrogated and being driven "mad" by the mediocrity of his accusers and tormentors and by the inanity of their utterances. I'm afraid that once I got this idea into my head I just tried to make the poem fit!! Exactly what I was accusing you of before .....LOL sorreeeee . I guess I am probably wrong, but the arrest and trial of Socrates springs to mind. In 399BC, as you will know, he was arrested and tried for "corrupting the morals of Athenian youth and for religious heresies". I'm not sure whether this interpretation quite fits with: "How you, O Athenians, have been affected I cannot tell, I cannot tell So persuasively did they speak" but as it's all I can think of I'm going to run with it as generally it seems to work pretty well. And btw Jim if you say I'm wrong, I'm afraid that it will be pretty obvious that you've misinterpreted your own poem ...... ~~~~~~~~~~~ I haven't changed my mind on this ... i still think that the repetition is what MAKES the poem .. it's exactly what i would expect from an articulate person under extreme mental pressure .... i should know ..lol..it happens to me everyday when i talk to Kamla ..... rotf ...  P |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Hi Jim  I really really liked your poem and the back to front lines....... I read this a few times and each time I read it, I received a clearer picture.... where I saw maybe a crazy so called Philosopher discussing life or trying to work himself/his mind out etcMaybe I'm totally off track. Anyway I really enjoyed the read Thanks Maree |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Philip: Thanks for the copy-and-paste reply ... I appreciate your comments as much now as I did then. This poem has been called "pointless drivel" by some and others seemed to like it. I guess it's a matter of taste. Thanks all the same for the critique. Maree: quote: You obviously have missed some of the discussion on what is the "right" interpretation of a poem. In my opinion (in the case of this poem, anyway) I am willing to say that if you found meaning in this poem, your interpretation is just as valid as anyone else's interpretation.Glad you both enjoyed it. Jim [This message has been edited by jbouder (edited 08-16-2000).] |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Following Philip makes replying very difficult....lol I think he and I got the same general feeling from the poem,, albeit probably in very different ways.... I found the choice of words irritating, in much the same way that one is irritated when hearing attempts to baffle with bull in the absence of brilliance... which is what I felt was the point of the poem, which was reinforced in my mind by the underlying theme of madness. To this I also attribute the finding of support for our own theories..lol. Also, like Philip, I drew the Socrates conclusion and justified it with the same madness theme I used to crutch my above conclusions.Whether these were your intents or not makes little difference in the poem itself because it expresses madness in its repetitions anyway. Your mastery of language is obvious throughtout. jamie [This message has been edited by Prometheus (edited 08-16-2000).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Well Mr. P (  ) makes it impossible to avoid reading what he wrote... but I have skipped the thoughts of ones before me... and thats what took me so long to return here...so I am blindfolding myself, so to speak, from their words and read this again from clicks to cliques... whatta darn attempt at cliche!  okay now the poem... eloquent... lots of complex words... and format... well speaking of formats is this looking better... to me it does.. but then maybe I am a  nut, a lunatic wearing the garb of wisdom...anyway... Ubiquitous chitiny of lunatic clicks So persuasively did they speak The facts? The facts confuse me don’t confuse me with The facts My mind is made A made mind A mad mind made sophisticated mad How you, O Athenians, have been affected I cannot tell, I cannot tell So persuasively did they speak I almost forgot who I was Who I am Who am I? I know! (Mad sophisticated made) I know not? The facts confuse me don’t confuse me with The facts My mind is made A made mind A mind made mad I know! Ubiquitous chitiny of lunatic cliques So persuasively did they speak Yet hardly an uttered word of truth. ---- take it or leave it, your choice ---- feel free to scream expletives at destroying the beauty of your poem... but be happy... regards, sudhir |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Jamie: Thanks (I think ... lol) for crit. Again, I'm not sure that my original intent is all that important with this poem. Your Socratic suspicions are correct (actually, several of the lines are quotes or adaptations of quotes from an English translation of "The Apology of Socrates"). For many years, Socrates was an outspoken critic of the Sophists, a group he regarded as people who "Think they know but know not." My use of "sophisticated" was intended, in part, to be an allusion to the Sophists. Thanks for reading! Sudhir: Your reformating is definitely interesting and may actually be a good expression of the poem when viewed in a different light. My reason for the returning lines was to give a visual clue to the descent to despair. Perhaps your version would be more fitting if told by someone who's left-brain is even more dominant than mine (*shiver* scary thought). Thanks for taking the time to work with this one. I will seriously consider your suggestions. Jim |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Jim, I dug this... the underlying insanity and the almost annoying alliteration gave me the shivers and set my teeth on edge. Bueno! I also liked the clever word play from beginnng to end, formed around the nexus of the poem. One might say brilliant, but I'll just say cool!  |
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