»
Main Forums
»
English Workshop
»
OK - time for
| English Workshop |
|
OK - time for |
|
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
|
a new challenge...yes, definitely time for one. Repetition. Ahhh yes - that naaaaaasty word. The question is - can you, can I, write a GOOD poem (yes C, or prose piece - though thinking poem here specifically, so hush) using repetition as a key rhetorical device? Any topic - just repeat words and phrases lots and lots! LOL - well, as often as you think makes for a good piece of poetry...  K"He looked across the silky surface of the Severn, and remembered that it was a famously difficult river with fierce tides..." From J |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
a poem could perhaps be written,,, but good? lol..we shall see my dear Kiwi friend |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Here is the poem I submit to be submitted. Please feel free to repitiously reply and perhaps repeatedly repetend the repetition to all who might repeat it. Huh? Over You: Over and Over Ever since your light first fell on my eyes I have been crazy over you Lost in your beauty giving love its rise I could never pass over you Once I had tasted how sweet was the prize I'd not pick another over you Having long been held so high in the skies you've had no one else over you I knew that always for you would be vies men to battle with over you One alone cannot prevent love's demise did my sadness wash over you In the passing years Have regretful sighs or lonesome tears come over you Time has done its job slowing down the cries memories remain over you When more clock has run and I have grown wise I'll put myself first over you Until then I must stay in this disguise since I have nothing over you Soon a day will come saying my goodbyes I will say that I'm over you Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I think Jamie needs to stay after class! His was too good too fast!  |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Jamie forced me to do this..and his is SO much better! I am no longer The woman you first met You are No longer A loss that I regret We are No longer Joined in romantic sigh We are No longer We are now just you and I |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
And its the last time I do!!!!!..lol I am SO jealous, and envious. Talk about good and fast. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Jamie! You weren't supposed to tell them I'm good AND fast..LOL It's my competitive spirit..yours is MUCH better..though it did take a few minutes more to write.. |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Jamie Well Done my friend.. love it all especially the ending.... Soon a day will come saying my goodbyes I will say that I'm over you Sharon hey , loved yours too Well done my friend you are both GOOD and FAST!!!  will work on mine now |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Hey!!!! Mareeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Kamleeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Where are you('re poems?.....huh? |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
well, you said it was time...   |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Umm err Jamie, I'm kinda still working on it  Maree |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Do I have to do a new one, or can I repost an older one? LOL - I have several along these lines, repetition being one of my favorite tricks... repetition being one of my favorite tricks... repetition being one of my favorite tricks... repetition being one of my favorite tricks... repetition being one of my favorite tricks...  |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Better keep that clock fully wound J cause I haven't even started... hehehe... |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Ok, I checked with the lady who thinks she's the boss and she said I could do a repost! ©2000 Christopher Ward The next woman I love will be just like you Challenging my mind kind to my heart. Like you, she will smile through eyes of azure hue every time we meet. Like you, she will caress my turmoil with the wispy kiss of her sighs. Like you, she will know there is no need to speak in the comforting sanity of silence. Like you, she will hold me close in dreams and starry nights dancing shadows on the walls. Like you, she will share my aches knowing they pass in fits of inspiration. Like you, she will share in the sanctity of togetherness as one we thrive alive. Like you, she will touch me daily, without the need... to ever really touch. Unlike you, she will stay. Unlike you, she will love me ...forever. |
||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
If Christopher gets to re-post ... so do I !  Just The Mention Of Your Name ~*Marge Tindal*~ Just the mention of your name ignites the embers once again Leaping into raging flame at just the mention of your name Cold the smolder of the past Passion's fire that did not last Ashen now the burned remains at just the mention of your name From within there comes a doubt that this fire has not burned out You return and I'm not the same with just the mention of your name Hotter still the passion grows Burning me with ecstasy's glow I've no one but myself to blame for falling in love all over again at just the mention of your name ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I Stand Tilted Heel-over on sinking ground a concrete of hard solid mass, I stand tilted you, a rise over earth and sky I'm imprisoned by horizon's line, I stand tilted a west wind you twist over and around rotating this senseless head, I stand tilted finally you become untouchable and I fall crashing at your feet, still, I stand tilted Angel of Darkness August 2000 |
||
|
Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
ok .. seeing as i can't seem to write much right now, can i cheat with a repost? yeah well i will anyway .. this was from wayyy back but its all i could find with repetition in it..lol: Poet's journey Other-worldly I dress to leave. The rhythm, rhyme and flow The rhythm, rhyme and flow. Time to go Time to go. We shared our love, our lust, our time, but never shared our minds, We shared our adulthood and teens, but never shared our dreams. Luggage, tension and male precision, Smash up the rhythm, rhyme and flow the rhythm, rhyme and flow. En-tranced I take the wheel. The rhythm, rhyme and flow The rhythm, rhyme and flow. He'll never know He'll never know the rhythm saturated sea in which I bathe the real me, Where wave tops wave in curling sound so far from his unyielding ground. Road-maps, tension and male derision, Disrupt the rhythm, rhyme and flow the rhythm, rhyme and flow. Mesmerically I feed the gas. The rhythm, rhyme and flow The rhythm, rhyme and flow. Too fast too slow Too fast too slow. The rubber beat of tyres on seams metronomically feeds my dreams, The shush and shush and shush and shush of air squeezed as we rush and rush. Male screams, metal screams and momentary pain, Break the rhythm, rhyme and flow the rhythm, rhyme and flow. More clearly now I feel the beat, Red pumping life, red staining seat, And rivers flow and merge and meet my thigh the spring, the sea my feet, As day collapses other light invades my mind but blinds my sight, And feeling goes and feelings come and once so old and now so young, Time passes; slows, so long, and long I drown in my arterial song, And whisper out an age held breath and smile to know the life of death, Then loose my hold and slide below become the rhythm, rhyme and flow the rhythm, rhyme and flow the rhythm, rhyme and flow time to go time to go. |
||
|
Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
HAH ..i just thought of another..can i post two? well i will anyway ..lol... is the formal repetition of a villanelle allowed? Temporal Illusion Resist the tempting lilt of time's long blast, Awake from ether years that tick away, No now, no then, no later and no last. To you who sit and comfortably fast and vainly wait for morrow's fattening day, Resist the tempting lilt of time's long blast. To those who suck dry marrow of the past, Throw down the dusty bones, arise and say No now, no then, no later and no last. And you who glut on certainty must cast beyond the present garnish, and then may Resist the tempting lilt of time's long blast. Spurn paltry centuries and stand not aghast while little minutes seem to go astray, No now, no then, no later and no last. Let me but glimpse a lie so old and vast, Then armed in understanding light I pray, Resist the tempting lilt of time's long blast. No now, no then, no later and no last. |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I say: Wait for Me! I will be back!! Wait for Me I will be back!! I hope to hear:  We will be waiting We hope you will be there soon! We will be waiting We hope you will be there!! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
