waking one morning to the fog

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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2000-02-20 02:26 PM

-waking one morning to the fog-
How many ghosts pressed their hands
Against my pane last night?
I wake in the morning to find
Their prints all over the glass' corners.
Were they trying to leave a message?
If so, they need a penmanship class.
Or maybe the smears themselves
Explain something I don't know.

Many tree leaves in California
Look more like ferns than leaves.
From wooden branches, little slivers fanning
On thin, thin branchlike stems.
In this current wet sullen weather,
They sop and droop and fall.
Drunken by too much refreshment,
They'd rather the sun give attention.

I don't dare drive on the freeway tonight,
So dark and wetly shining --
Like a coiled snake ready to whip straight,
Ants flying off its back.
There's already enough metal-glass faces,
Broken collisions on Fox11.
And the ghosts that left their prints on my pane
Cover headlights, working on windshields.

Cerenity
Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 2637
Escondido-California

1 posted 2000-02-20 05:59 PM

Hey there bsquirrel,
You must be talking about the Silver Oaks that we have out here in la,la land, I have those to many in fact they sure leave a mess. And highway driving is not a good choise in the rain as you so well put it. I am glad I now know someone else is also from the this part of the world.

Cerenity-1

Meadowmuse
Member Elite

since 1999-12-27

Posts 3263

2 posted 2000-02-20 06:05 PM

You have such an interesting point of view...the first two lines of this piece are striking! Of course, I like the rest as well, but those first two lines, and then the last two, bringing it to its haunting conclusion...this is superb.

Chris Goodman
Member

since 2000-01-28

Posts 92
Issaquah, Washington usa

3 posted 2000-02-20 07:56 PM

Thanks for sharing your poem.
Chris...I like.

Blue Moon

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

4 posted 2000-02-20 08:12 PM

Cerenity,
C'mon, I can't be the only lalien you know -- there's what, 12 million people here? Get outside, darn you!

Thanks for reading. And yes, it is those ... er ... "lovely" silver oaks I speak of.

Meadowmuse,
Glad you enjoyed. It just kinda came into my head whlie looking out the window this morning that the collecting moisture seemed like handprints of ghosts. That, and my obscene joy of cateloging all things California.

Glad it wasn't too insider-y for ya.

Chris,
Welcs. And thanks for reading them.

Mike

Breathe~
Member

since 2000-02-05

Posts 315
Washington...

5 posted 2000-02-20 09:38 PM

As I said before...your style is different...but this is excellant!

Your mind wanders in interesting ways...*grin*

Freedom of expression is the watch word...

Corazon
Senior Member

since 2000-02-02

Posts 1209

6 posted 2000-02-21 12:12 PM

love the images in this one, and the questions....there is something mysterious about a fog....great poem

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

7 posted 2002-05-22 07:42 PM

Thanks!

She said burn ... together.
-TON

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2003-01-01 01:12 PM

wow! what a way to put it!

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

9 posted 2003-01-02 10:54 PM

Thanks for reading, PS.

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