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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
|
|
|
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| Open Poetry #6 |
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Key To My Heart |
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HafYue New Member
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4 |
I'd send You roses but they would wilt when they see you because your beauty surpasses their own I'd Send You gold but the sparkle in your eyes would make gold seem like tin I'd send You candy but your own sweetness would put them to shame I'd send You a teddy bear but the the thought of your arms around anything but me sends shivers down my spine All I have to Offer that won't rust, die or break is the Key to my heart. |
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| © Copyright 2000 HafYue - All Rights Reserved | |||
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INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
Welcome HafYue, You have made a good first start. It takes courage to publish your feeling. From your "Nick" and your construction, I have a question. Is english your native language? If not, writing in a foriegn language is even tougher. Keep writing. I look forward to reading more. INclan |
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Brent Hotchkin Junior Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 42Florida,USA |
Welcome Hafyue. I am pretty new myself though. I have only ben on a few days. You are going to like it here. Very nice poem. Looking forward to reading more of your work. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Hafyue: First let me say welcome and thanks for posting your poem here. Your poem proves that less really is more, I really liked it, it is simple yet sweet. It reminds me of the "my love is all I have to give you" phrase. My favourite line is "I'd send you a teddy bear but the thought of your arms around anything but me sends shivers down my spine." And of course, the last line sums it all up perfectly. Good work for a first poem. Take care, Melissa Honeybee  |
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