Open Poetry #6 |
PleaseRead- Candy in the Garden of Eden |
Ophelia Speaks Junior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 11suburbia, IL |
I cry for you no longer. keep your sugar coated kisses that freely tumble off your candy lips that smiled to kill what faith was left inside me of hollow spaces open you up and see how many ribs you are missing of how many Eves you’ve created out of the dust only to feed them the fruit of rejection with a glass of nectar and ambrosia hoping it will make you invincible from the serpents slithering about my feet but even serpents can have candy smiles too. This is for a guy who I love enough to watch him hurt me. |
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© Copyright 2000 Megan - All Rights Reserved | |||
Wizzard Member
since 2000-02-09
Posts 209 |
Nice job with expressing yourself here Opheli.....But that last statement is very disturbing... "This is for a guy who I love enough to watch him hurt me." I have so much I would like to say about that statement...but like another poet once said...I`ll keep my opinion in my pocket. Thank`s for the read and Take care. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. And the begining of a new one. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I ditto the wizzard A strong statement Liz |
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Chris Goodman Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 92Issaquah, Washington usa |
I really loved your poem & I too have been stupid enough to sit back & watch the ones I love hurt me. I am well poised & put up with alot. Chris Blue Moon |
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Shelley Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 263Ohio, USA |
I guess this is what you would call bitter sweet. I like it in a strange sort of way. Good Job! |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Wonderful piece Liz...but I too must follow the advice of a fellow poet and "keep my opinion in my pocket" Even still, this is a wonderful piece of writing. Thanks for sharing with us this deep side of your emotions and pain. Chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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sonjes Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564North Carolina |
You created a picture of one of many exes. you illustrated him to a tee, and that is scary! Keep writing and I will keep reading! |
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Ophelia Speaks Junior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 11suburbia, IL |
Although it may not sound like it, writing this was actually my first step to getting over this guy. Its kindof a weird situation but i was just getting sick of waiting for him so this is more of a conqering poem letting him know im finished rather than a victim one. thanks for the feedback |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Ophelia, I really like the poem, good luck in putting him behind you, where he belongs. Parker |
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seraphin Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004Michigan |
Like all your work I've read so far, this too is very, very good. I look forward to reading more. |
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