PleaseRead- Candy in the Garden of Eden

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Ophelia Speaks
Junior Member

since 2000-02-18

Posts 11
suburbia, IL

0 posted 2000-02-18 09:21 PM

I cry for you no longer.
keep your sugar coated kisses that freely tumble off your candy lips
that smiled to kill
what faith was left inside me
of hollow spaces
open you up and see how many ribs you are missing
of how many Eves you’ve created out of the dust
only to feed them the fruit of rejection
with a glass of nectar and ambrosia
hoping it will make you
invincible
from the serpents slithering about my feet
but even serpents can have candy smiles too.

This is for a guy who I love enough to watch him hurt me.

Wizzard
Member

since 2000-02-09

Posts 209

1 posted 2000-02-18 09:27 PM

Nice job with expressing yourself here Opheli.....But that last statement is very disturbing...

"This is for a guy who I love enough to watch him hurt me."

I have so much I would like to say about that statement...but like another poet once said...I`ll keep my opinion in my pocket.
Thank`s for the read and Take care.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
And the begining of a new one.

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

2 posted 2000-02-18 09:31 PM

I ditto the wizzard
A strong statement
Liz

Chris Goodman
Member

since 2000-01-28

Posts 92
Issaquah, Washington usa

3 posted 2000-02-19 12:12 PM

I really loved your poem & I too have been stupid enough to sit back & watch the ones I love hurt me. I am well poised & put up with alot.
Chris

Blue Moon

Shelley
Member

since 2000-01-27

Posts 263
Ohio, USA

4 posted 2000-02-19 12:12 PM

I guess this is what you would call bitter sweet. I like it in a strange sort of way.
Good Job!

CMGrimm
Senior Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 685
USA

5 posted 2000-02-19 12:16 PM

Wonderful piece Liz...but I too must follow the advice of a fellow poet and "keep my opinion in my pocket"

Even still, this is a wonderful piece of writing. Thanks for sharing with us this deep side of your emotions and pain.

Chris

Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.

sonjes
Senior Member

since 2000-02-18

Posts 564
North Carolina

6 posted 2000-02-19 12:19 PM

You created a picture of one of many exes. you illustrated him to a tee, and that is scary! Keep writing and I will keep reading!

Ophelia Speaks
Junior Member

since 2000-02-18

Posts 11
suburbia, IL

7 posted 2000-02-19 12:01 PM

Although it may not sound like it, writing this was actually my first step to getting over this guy. Its kindof a weird situation but i was just getting sick of waiting for him so this is more of a conqering poem letting him know im finished rather than a victim one. thanks for the feedback

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

8 posted 2000-02-19 07:06 PM

Ophelia, I really like the poem, good luck in putting him behind you, where he belongs.

Parker

seraphin
Senior Member

since 2000-09-24

Posts 1004
Michigan

9 posted 2000-10-07 11:55 PM

Like all your work I've read so far, this too is very, very good. I look forward to reading more.

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