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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #6 |
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A Simple Madness |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Coarsing through me flush, perspiring-- and a faint twitch of hair on the back of my neck-- like someone staring. I hear whispers in every foot-fall, leaves crunching on the path, and all the day behind me, retiring... Still warmth lingers, envelops me...beguiling and bewildering... like a low-grade fever, a waking fantasy. Shadows in the wood now have ponderous meaning. And every word not uttered, predictably misunderstood. And had I could pen a world of my own invention--could not, would not have destined you... no, not to my own invention, but to the whimsy of gods who laugh at love's intention. |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
wonderful imagery here..love the ending: "I could pen a world of my own invention--could not, would not have destined you... no, not to my own invention, but to the whimsy of gods who laugh at love's intention." |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Serenity~ Sometimes it just comes up and says, 'Here I am !' I like the way you phrased the inevitablity of love. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Beki-thanks it sounded better the way you structured it--I know I need help in that department, and presentation, and meter, and...sigh. Marge- as always I can feel you "rooting' for me. Much gratitude. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I enjoyed reading this poem--loved the lines, the whimsy of gods who laugh at love's intention. |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
serenity, Yes I too really enjoyed the imagery here. Great poem. Parker |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
yep liked this too....great images |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Great expression of your image of love. You seem to have a handle on what you want to convey through your words. Rich |
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Breathe~ Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315Washington... |
Which path was that? which route exactly??...*grin* I'd love to have something like that sneaking up on me...Great poem!  Freedom of expression is the watch word... |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Wonderful title, Serenity, and I especially loved the feel of a dark anticipation as I began reading your words...excellent effect! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is beautiful, Serenity! Lovely imagery! Denise |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Wonderful serenity. You paint a beautiful picture. "Coarsing through me flush, perspiring-- and a faint twitch of hair on the back of my neck-- like someone staring" This, this give me cold chills...love the anticipation. Thanks for a great read. Chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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tori Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA |
serenity I could hear them leaves crunching under foot..Great visuals This line rings out Shadows in the wood now have ponderous meaning. And every word not uttered, predictably misunderstood. Great Job****! If with pen in hand I've made you think I've not wasted one drop of ink Vlh. visit my site~ http://www.hsanet.net/user/dkm/hellomy.htm |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks to all--serenity is blushing!!! |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
No need for blushing m'dear passions sister...this has some wonderful imagery...I thank you for the glimpse!!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I love your writing! There are so many wonderful phrases in this poem. Very creative and poetic mind Liz |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
'I hear whispers in every foot-fall' .... ....pssst.... ... another excellent poem ... Rex}<{{{{o> |
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