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Open Poetry #6
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A Box of Trojans and A Twenty....
| Open Poetry #6 |
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A Box of Trojans and A Twenty.... |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA 
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I saw her standing there, at the counter across the aisle from the condoms, staring right at me. For just a moment I thought I saw something in her face, then I saw her mouth move to form the word "hi" My eyes moved, slowly, down from her mouth, down across her chin, down the line of her neck and across where her tight white t-shirt perfectly outlined her full,firm breasts, down to her bare, tan belly where her fingers nervously played with a tiny silver ring. I pulled my eyes back up to meet hers and caught her quickly scanning the condom packages. Then she looked at me and smiled, and turned and walked outside... My heart was pounding as I stepped up to the counter with a box of Trojans and a twenty... Christopher M. Grimm 2000 Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Christopher M. Grimm - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Nice dream Chris.....lol Jeffrey |
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tickle tickle New Member
since 2000-04-03
Posts 7 |
safe sex is always the best way.....that you incorporated this into your poem and still evoked emotions...well done |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
omanomanomanomanoman this killed me yuh and i too say wake up there CM  All Day I Dream About Stanzas!! |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
LMAO at yuh walt...it's not a dream, it's not a dream, it's not....okay...maybe it is, but that is for me to know and for you to only ponder....lmao. Thanks Jeffrey and Tickle....nice to know someone appreciates... chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Chris...your writing is excellent. I know I've said it before, but if you're not published, you certainly should be. Wonderful piece |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
this is so very well written, when I saw the title,I was expecting something different...but this is so great... the detail and imagery are perfect...i feel like i was there watching this happen, but also you have written the emotions as well as the imagery...i can feel the connection being made, and the anticipation, very cool poem here. take care, jm Well the sun sets gently on your shoulders And it makes me want to touch you there. And the light in your eyes makes me feel Like there's something much better out there Something kind... And I know someday I might be looking around Trying to find some purpose Well purpose it can't be that hard to find As long as I've got the wind... The wind and your love to carry me. vertical horizon |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Wonderful imagery ... and title ... I was expecting something quite different, myself ...... Perfect writing here, Chris ....... "This is where you will win the battle .... in the playhouse of your mind." Maxwell Maltz |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Chris, in this piece you're direct and subtle almost in the same breath. Finely writ, my dear! ~ Claire |
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hsystems Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319Murray, UT, USA |
Nice work, Chris! The title pulled me in, and the poem made me glad I had taken the detour!  Troy Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Great writing here--so real and imagery filled...well done! |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Thanks to all... My dearest Ruth, Beautiful Janet, Wonderful Pepper, Fantasmicaly Beautiful CLaire, My man Troy, and Wonderful Martie...for your "Oh too kind" comments. Im so glad you could read and enjoy. Chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Chris, Writing like this takes talent!!! I agree with Rith, get it published!!! This was great!! Must admit...it was the title that pulled me in. Too funny!!! Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Thanks Lone Wolf...I'm Trying...lol chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
~~~~~~~~~Nice creative writing~~~~~~~ |
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NamelessOne Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 197Biloxi MS |
very well done CMGRIMM, i`ll be looking for part two..  |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Thanks Danny and Nameless. Part two will probably have to be seen from the adult forum however...lol anyway, thanks for the replies. chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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