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Open Poetry #6
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| Open Poetry #6 |
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free erotic stories! (click here) |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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Now that I've blown off some steam, I can safely go to sleep. Mike -free erotic stories! (click here!)- i. Melissa liked to press a gun against her head At night, awake, the bed unmade by her thrashing dread. The metal shine of the weapon and its weighted friends inside Promised her the dirtiness near the edge within the lines. A wine bottle on her bedside table reflects the light, Spilling some onto her already sopped pillow; stained-out white. It gives her the faulty judgment she needs to go all the way tonight. ii. Roger was a writer. A writer was he. Neurotic on the outside, inside oh so squishy, Hiding his banality with much pomposity. He cheated on his girlfriend in the facelessness of online. Then he wrote story after story -- fantasies and pickup lines Where every girl was a boring whore as easy as he wanted her to be. He broke up with his sweetheart last week -- he realized love's too miserly. iii. Sarah and Steven woke up feeling strange today -- They've been married for years, have three kids; no time to play. Angel wings and paper hearts crumbling, pulse/unpulsing time. But the towels still hang oh so neat; The shirts still pressed, hot and creased. One day on the way home from work, Steven stopped at an am/pm. Asked the cashier on duty if she had rings -- he'd just like to see 'em. iv. boring love song on the radio. shut it off. boring sound of birdsong outside. shut it up. tearing sounds of pictures marked with pen. burn 'em up. tearing sounds of feeling torn up inside again. melissa drops the pistol. roger stokes his missal. sarah and steven wonder what's wrong. damn -- he went and wrote another song. shut us down. before we hurt each other. shut us down. before we love another. |
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INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
Ya...so what's your point? |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
A wine bottle on her bedside table reflects the light, Spilling some onto her already sopped pillow; stained-out white. It gives her the faulty judgment she needs to go all the way tonight. ------------------ He cheated on his girlfriend in the facelessness of online. Then he wrote story after story -- fantasies and pickup lines ------------------ Sarah and Steven woke up feeling strange today -- They've been married for years, have three kids; no time to play. Angel wings and paper hearts crumbling, pulse/unpulsing time. But the towels still hang oh so neat; The shirts still pressed, hot and creased. One day on the way home from work, Steven stopped at an am/pm. Asked the cashier on duty if she had rings -- he'd just like to see 'em. --------------------- sarah and steven wonder what's wrong. damn -- he went and wrote another song. shut us down. before we hurt each other. shut us down. before we love another. --------------------- damn! blowing off steam?...way past that... WOW this was like a slap in the face from reality. this is SO well written and thought out. BSQ this is excellent, truly. a powerful piece, you should be sleeping like a baby... rest that deep mind of yours  jm |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I, I don't know why you're acting like such a jerk to me, but that's fine. Here's my rules to great poetry -- you wrote them yourself. 1) Use olde english as much as possible. Add points for no punctation at the end of sentences. Extra points if one line has absolutely no flow into the next line. 2) Be as sentimental as possible, and use convoluted words in place of thought so people will be too scared of your genius to disagree with it. 3) Remember, above all else, strive for simplicity; at least say that. Also remember, simplicity and nothing are the same -- as apparent by a few choice examples of your touching, heartfelt work. That felt good.  JM, Thanks for the kind words, and your respect. I'm glad this poem touched you. I wrote it because while surfing around, I just saw so much fantasy in banners asking you to click away. Reality isn't always pretty, but I think it's much more beautiful than fantasy, sentimentality, etc. Thanks again for enjoying, and for reading. I'll have to write a poem called "butterfly slippers" sometime. p.s. It's your lucky day, IN. I'm never going to bother replying to you again. Best of (and for) both worlds. Mike |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
you are something else me friend! But allow me to duck the shrapnel here to say that I do appreciate your insight, and somewhat acerbic wit! Have missed you much! |
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INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
Mike, you were never in danger of loosing my respect, nor did I criticize your work. I mearly asked to be instructed in greater understanding. Ok, I was a bit pointed and you didn't deserve that....please forgive me. Best Regards, INclan p.s. Great Rant! I bet that did feel good. You pegged me so well, I am impressed. [This message has been edited by INclan (edited 04-09-2000).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
BSQ-darlin, you write me a poem and I will cut and paste you the MOON. and Inclan is right....that was a good rant...nothing like a passionate poet!!(smile) and his apology was eloquent as well...I just love it when we all get along(smile)you both show class today take care, butterlfy slippers LOL ...every moment of every day... your still with me in every way. every poem and song... every rhyme and verse... your still here...like a beautiful curse. janet marie |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I LIKE the idea of butterfly slippers...think about that one awhile, will ya? Much interested. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
INclan, I have nothing against you, and appreciate you clearing this up. Understand though, that I felt like I was being attacked. When I posted the "juice pop wisdom" experiment, I felt your response wasn't really joking. It felt bitter. And then your response to this poem, which was me blowing off steam after getting angry over your previous response, just pushed me too far. I'm glad to know this was a misunderstanding. It's also a reminder that what travels into words might not be the true intent of the speaker. That's why emoticons can be helpful. Let them guide you. See? Apologies all around, both sides; accepted. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
serenity, I will be thinking about it. And I miss you, too. Would you get your *#%# e-mail working already? Mike |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
WOW! This poem is marvellous. The way that you have highlighted the many, and not always happy, aspects of life really caught my attention. Great work. ~AF~ "Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement." Christopher Fry |
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weaubleau Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 101MO |
i think i enjoyed the posts more than the poem here! just kidding. great poem. i really liked it. |
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INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
Ah, bsquirrel, you are as gracious and you are wise. I bow to my friend. weaubleau, we are indeed a passionate lot. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
bsquirrel, Enjoyed the read, nothing wrong with leaving off a little steam. |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
really insightful writing here, good stuff my friend |
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