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Open Poetry #6
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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2000-04-08 08:40 PM




My Velvet Rose
( For my daughter, Christina )

I remember you, a rosebud fair
With cheeks of pink and curly hair,
Skin of silken petal’s touch
And fragrance that I loved so much

A little flower in Easter dress
In thralls of childhood happiness
With puckered lips and eyes aflirt
And puffy crimson velvet skirt

You blossomed quickly through the years
Of sunshine smiles and dewdrop tears
Then opened up your wondrous bloom
Whose beauty many eyes consumed

When you discovered nature’s bliss
Of honey bee’s exotic kiss
You left the garden’s tranquil life
And settled free as man and wife

Taffeta petals now full grown
With little rosebuds of your own
Your radiant beauty still exists
And penetrates the morning mist

How much I love you, no one knows
My crimson colored velvet rose

Elizabeth Santos


© Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
1 posted 2000-04-08 08:42 PM


I do believe this is an extended metaphor, and a very well done one at that.

Elizabeth


 "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!"
-The Crucible


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
2 posted 2000-04-08 08:52 PM


Beautiful, Liz. The poem (as well as your daughter, I'm sure) is precious.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2000-04-08 09:45 PM


Oh Liz, this is beautiful--she will be so pleased.
Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

4 posted 2000-04-08 10:17 PM


Warms the cockles of my heart... beautifully written and expressed.
mariee66
Senior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 596
Recess, OfYourMind
5 posted 2000-04-08 10:36 PM


This is oh so sweet and beautiful~
Lovely extended metaphor~
Marie~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2000-04-08 11:30 PM


Elizabeth,
You will always be my favorite. A beautiful poem. Love Sy

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

7 posted 2000-04-09 01:00 AM


This is exquisite, Elizabeth!! Absolutely beautiful!

Denise

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
8 posted 2000-04-09 11:20 AM


Thank you, friends, for your remarks. This was a challenge in Nan's poetry workshop, on extended metaphors. I'm not sure this is correct
Thanks so much
Liz

LoveBug
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Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

9 posted 2000-04-09 11:46 AM


Liz, this is wonderful! I don't know if it's an extended metephor, but whatever it is, it's wonderful!  

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde

lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
10 posted 2000-04-12 01:18 AM


O liz, sigh sigh... I love my Rose too. I've written so many of these but never as good as you. This little rose needs to be seen again, our prayers to you while sigh within.

 

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