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Open Poetry #6
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My Velvet Rose ( Extended Metaphor ? )
| Open Poetry #6 |
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My Velvet Rose ( Extended Metaphor ? ) |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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My Velvet Rose ( For my daughter, Christina ) I remember you, a rosebud fair With cheeks of pink and curly hair, Skin of silken petal’s touch And fragrance that I loved so much A little flower in Easter dress In thralls of childhood happiness With puckered lips and eyes aflirt And puffy crimson velvet skirt You blossomed quickly through the years Of sunshine smiles and dewdrop tears Then opened up your wondrous bloom Whose beauty many eyes consumed When you discovered nature’s bliss Of honey bee’s exotic kiss You left the garden’s tranquil life And settled free as man and wife Taffeta petals now full grown With little rosebuds of your own Your radiant beauty still exists And penetrates the morning mist How much I love you, no one knows My crimson colored velvet rose Elizabeth Santos |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I do believe this is an extended metaphor, and a very well done one at that. Elizabeth "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!" -The Crucible |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Beautiful, Liz. The poem (as well as your daughter, I'm sure) is precious. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Oh Liz, this is beautiful--she will be so pleased. |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Warms the cockles of my heart... beautifully written and expressed. |
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mariee66 Senior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 596Recess, OfYourMind |
This is oh so sweet and beautiful~ Lovely extended metaphor~ Marie~ |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Elizabeth, You will always be my favorite. A beautiful poem. Love Sy |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is exquisite, Elizabeth!! Absolutely beautiful! Denise |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Thank you, friends, for your remarks. This was a challenge in Nan's poetry workshop, on extended metaphors. I'm not sure this is correct Thanks so much Liz |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Liz, this is wonderful! I don't know if it's an extended metephor, but whatever it is, it's wonderful!  "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
O liz, sigh sigh... I love my Rose too. I've written so many of these but never as good as you. This little rose needs to be seen again, our prayers to you while sigh within. |
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