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Open Poetry #6
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Elliott
Junior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 35
Chapel Hill, NC

0 posted 2000-04-07 11:46 PM


I loved the way you were with me,
A girl of nineteen, trying to be
A woman.

You were never a woman, not to me.
Your warm brown eyes were almost worthy,
And your soft brown hair
And cold skin, your mute soul- subtle mockeries,
Impurities taking away the fresh air.


Don’t act surprised, it’s not your nature to disguise
(By means of vacant sighs, and soft-spoken replies)
Satisfaction at my demise-
I’m just biding my time, right now.
I’ve come to expect this from your kind,
The phony fake song you would sing to one
Much more naïve than I.

You floated into my room when the smoke was here:
It came in black clouds all around you;
I should have realized
You were not really as I found you to be.
But now I see what was behind your coveting
Of the young heart that once
  belonged to me.

It has gone away now;
I don’t miss it very much.

And now is not the time to find
The reason in your contrived rhyme;  
Yesterday was fine,
Back then there was more time.


c. August, 2000 by DEM



[This message has been edited by Elliott (edited 04-07-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Elliott - All Rights Reserved
INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
1 posted 2000-04-08 07:35 AM


Elloit,

I am not sure what you mean by this.  I first thought it was another person. As I read on, I began to wonder if you were speaking of a spirit off the moors. All I can say for sure is that something came to you, you didn't care all that much, and then it went away.

INclan

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-04-08 08:44 AM


"You floated into my room when the smoke was here:
It came in black clouds all around you;
I should have realized
You were not really as I found you to be.
But now I see what was behind your coveting
Of the young heart that once
  belonged to me.

It has gone away now;
I don’t miss it very much.

And now is not the time to find
The reason in your contrived rhyme;  
Yesterday was fine,
Back then there was more time.
---------------------------------
this is a really cool and very well written poem...there is something very unique about it...and I like its understated pain...laced with an edge of bitterness and resign.
this is the first piece of your work Ive read...will look for more...welcome to passions
take care, jm

 The stars shine so bright, now's the time
I close my eyes - soft wind touch my face,
Cool sand upon the place where I once kissed you
And held you close.
Now I will reach for the stars...
Because Oh my love, that's where you are...
Though the storms of black night rage on
I still see your face
I still feel your lips on mine
And though my heart feels all alone without you
I still hear you sing to me
I still hear your voice on the sea...
vertical horizon


Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

3 posted 2000-04-08 10:37 PM


Life gives us many hurts. I think that is how we grow. Well written, Elliott.

Denise

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