Open Poetry #6 |
Good Night Sweet Prince |
Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Good night sweet Prince, As midnight falls. Around this heart, Within these walls. The sleep of death, A beckoning call. The weary lids, Begin to fall. The brightest spark, Is fading fast. Good night sweet Prince, Will feelings last? And now the end, The thoughts do cease. The tears subside, A sweet release. A final kiss, A final breath. A final tear, A final death. Good night sweet Prince, As midnight falls. Around this heart, Within these walls. |
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© Copyright 2000 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved | |||
ElektraXOXO Junior Member
since 2000-04-07
Posts 30San Antonio Tx |
Are you related to that guy who wrote Romeo & Juliet? It was a great peom. |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
wow Marilyn.....I hate to ask...... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Marilyn, does this mean that last date didn't go too well? The poem is excellently written, by the way, almost haunting in its effect. Nice work... |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Nicely written. Carried the mood well, enjoyed. |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Wow, Marilyn... What a great poem, so dark and sorrowful and it flows so smooth. What a mood you evoked, greatly enjoyed. Abrahm Simons "...Watching fate as it flows down the path we have chose" - Trent Reznor, "We're in this Together" |
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One Who Understands Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 251Cedar Rapids, Iowa |
It kind of reminded me of Romeo and Juliet Wonderful peom! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Marilyn~ When you pop in here ... you do it in style. This is open-hearted emotion. I like it. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
This one touched me deeply It is so well written Liz |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
This is beautiful and sad and I love it.I hope the next prince evokes happier feelings in you. You deserve all the happiness...one day you'll find it. Love and hugs, Lizzie |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Elektra....No relation to Shakespeare that I know of...lol. Thanks for the compliment though. Robert...Nothing much to tell my friend. Just some poetic rambling from a lonely woman. Mike....Date went fine. Just no sparks..you know. Thanks for the compliment. I tried to make it quite haunting. I am glad it worked. Tim...Thankyou. I am glad you enjoyed. Abe....Thanks. I am glad you enjoyed. It was supposed to be dark and sorrowful. Seems all I can write lately. One who Understands....Such a compliment. Thankyou. Marge....You are such a sweet lady. Thankyou for your kind words. Elizabeth....I am glad you enjoyed. ESP....Love is such a fickle thing. You make connections with people but yet it has to be just right to be real. Always enjpy the friendship even if the spark isn't there. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Wow, this is a beautiful poem! Great job. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is excellent poetry, so beautifully written and full of emotion. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent writing, Marilyn! This did convey a haunting sadness. Denise |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Your Prince of hearts is searching yet he'll not give up until you've met ~ In castle walls deep in your heart only time keeps true love apart ~ So Before you close your eyes this night leave lipstick on with candle bright Loved your poem Rex}>{{{{o> |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
The first four lines did it for me..I love this...lovely writing. James |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Excellent work Marilyn, I love the almost chanting quality of this one. I can relate to the emotions portrayed here. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
WOw...Marilyn, this is fantastic. Oh so haunting though. |
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WhiteNite Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 241Montgomery, AL |
Well... I'll have to brush up on my poetry lingo before I'll know if it's "haunting" or not, but it made the trip to teh second page of post worth while and I think I'll make that my last read for the night... thanks. "The storm rises up when the shadows descend every beat of my heart every day without end I will stand like a rock I will bend till I break till theres no more to give if thats what it takes I will risk everything I will fight I will bleed I will lay down my life if thats what you need every second I live thats the promise I make" I have no idea who wrote this... tell me if you know. =) |
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weaubleau Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 101MO |
very, very moving. my heart dropped on the "a final kiss" stanza... wonderful writing. |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Most impressive. This is filled with such passion and heartbreak. Conjures up memories I thought were gone forever. Thanks for sharing it. Jeffrey |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
LoveBug...Thanks you so much for your appreciation. Martie...I am humbled by your compliments. Denise...coming from you, those wards are a great compliment. Thankyou. Rex..Thankyou so much for a lovely poem in reply. Though lipstick doesn't like my pillow much. lol James...I am so very glad you enjoyed it. Travis...I am glad that you could appreciate this piece. Thankyou for you comment. Ruth...my friend. Your words touch me and make me blush. You know I consider you an amazing poet and for you to have thought this was fantastic....I am speachless. WhiteNite...Thankyou so much for the compliment and for reading my piece. I have not seen you here before so I shall also say welcome to Passions. weaubleau....I am glad my writing could evolk such a reaction. Thankyou for reading. Jeffrey....I am very glad you enjoyed this piece. I am sorry that it brought back painful emotions though it did help me rid some of mine. |
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Thurman New Member
since 2000-03-29
Posts 6Detroit, Michigan USA |
I thought it was wonderful. i know you now in a very bittersweet way. What a heart you posess. Lance (Thurman) |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Rock! Ka-blam! A home run with this Marilyn! Not only a bad-azz poem, but love the format! You go girl! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.... ~tear~ Lovely Marilyn... K |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I was captured from the very beginning, this was so moving... Kathleen |
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Justin Nuendo Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 86Ozzz |
Beautiful Marilyn ! Excellent poem. |
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David2 Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 407 |
Marilyn, I loved this! It was well written, well metered, well rhymed, and very well expresed. Thanks, David2 |
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