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Open Poetry #6

Fallen Tree Sounds

RAM
Member

since 2000-03-24

Posts 153

0 posted 2000-04-03 01:11 PM

Fallen Tree Sounds

The chink of light eludes me;
it's out dancing with the moon.
I'm drifting in this cell of dreams we made.
There were some days within these walls
when that mere slip of light
came dancing with the shadows as they played.

I still, at times, will watch for light
to grace these graceless planes -
to dress these empty days in glad array,
as if unsaid farewells aren't real.
But these have told me much:
your silence tells me all you cannot say.

© RAM 2/22/99

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

1 posted 2000-04-03 05:44 PM

Very well thought out of poem. Keep up the good work. It is a poem that sounds like it has written centuries ago.

Ronil (the one and lonely)

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2000-04-03 08:01 PM

Rick~
This is a delicately done piece of work.

Gosh .. do I like this line ...

'The chink of light eludes me;
it's out dancing with the moon.'

Very pretty.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

3 posted 2000-04-03 10:06 PM

Wonderful poem. Well written!

Denise

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

4 posted 2000-04-04 03:22 AM

Another beauty, RAM--words stitched together like delicate lace...very very lovely...

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

5 posted 2000-04-04 10:57 AM

WOw...the last line of this says it all...wonderful

RAM
Member

since 2000-03-24

Posts 153

6 posted 2000-04-04 11:08 AM

thanks Xeonox, Marge, Denise, Serenity, Hoot.

As for the last line, Hoot, I can't claim it. This was an exercise that a number of poets I know participated in -- where we gave each other lines to use as last lines. That line came from a poet friend who shares my interest in using "punch" lines.

Rick

[This message has been edited by RAM (edited 04-04-2000).]

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