Kayes poem - The Swan. - pipTalk Forums

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Collins
Member

since 2000-03-28

Posts 57

0 posted 2000-03-28 06:45 PM

Her Love was like the blackest swan,
swimming 'neath the midnight sun.
Gentley gliding through the lake,
I watch her movements,
the ripples she makes.
The circles extend until no more,
or get washed upon the pebbled shore.
Still she moves on without a pause,
Does this bird know the damage it's caused.

CherylLynnMckee
Member

since 2000-03-28

Posts 215

1 posted 2000-03-28 07:23 PM

I enjoyed it...lovely poem!

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite

since 2000-03-06

Posts 3733
Michigan

2 posted 2000-03-28 07:30 PM

Welcome to Passions!!

I enjoyed the story you told. The ripple effect often goes un-noticed by those that cause the most waves.

Can't wait to read more!!

Collins
Member

since 2000-03-28

Posts 57

3 posted 2000-03-28 07:54 PM

Thank you so much for your replies.

It is such a personal poem, it means alot to know that someone likes it. Thank you.

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant

since 2000-03-16

Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

4 posted 2000-03-28 08:17 PM

Collins,
Welcome to passions!! I loved your poem. Beautiful image of the black swan. I am betting it has no idea of the damage and never will. Looking forward to more of your work.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.
--Michael W. Smith

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

5 posted 2000-03-28 08:17 PM

Collins~
What a lovely entrance to the family
of Passion's poets. Welcome.

This is truly a beautiful poem.

The thought of the ripples
being sent to the shore of our hearts
is truly a unique look at what love
can sometimes do when it goes
swimming by.
Hope to see more from you.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Collins
Member

since 2000-03-28

Posts 57

6 posted 2000-03-28 09:11 PM

Thank you Marge and Lone wolf. If anyone else is reding this i strongly suggest you check out some of the work these two have done (indeed butterflys don't cry and chreylLynnmcKee) There is some really good stuff there.

Thanks for you replies!!!

jbouder
Member Elite

since 1999-09-18

Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash

7 posted 2000-03-28 09:14 PM

I enjoyed this, Collins, and agree with you about the quality of this one. The only line I stumbled over a little bit, as far as meter is concerned, was the last one. Otherwise, well done poem.

Jim

Collins
Member

since 2000-03-28

Posts 57

8 posted 2000-03-28 09:40 PM

Cheers jim!!

(I think you're right about the last line, i'll work on it!!)

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

9 posted 2000-03-29 10:14 AM

This is a beautiful poem...Welcome to passions

Collins
Member

since 2000-03-28

Posts 57

10 posted 2000-03-29 11:05 AM

thanks for your kind replies!!!! Peace.

TerryW
Senior Member

since 2000-03-23

Posts 779
Louisville, Mississippi, USA

11 posted 2000-03-29 11:40 AM

Lovely, Collins!
Welcome to Passions!

T

Terry A. Woodson, Jr.

Collins
Member

since 2000-03-28

Posts 57

12 posted 2000-03-29 11:55 AM

Cheers Terry!! o

Collins
Member

since 2000-03-28

Posts 57

13 posted 2000-03-30 04:45 AM

thankyou,

Cerenity
Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 2637
Escondido-California

14 posted 2000-03-31 09:41 AM

Hi Collins,

This is beautiful, I really like the last sentence, giving a twist to the beauty.

Welcome to passions,

Cerenity

Collins
Member

since 2000-03-28

Posts 57

15 posted 2000-03-31 04:16 PM

thankyou for your comments. peace.

Collins
Member

since 2000-03-28

Posts 57

16 posted 2000-04-02 08:37 PM

Good nite everyone.

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

17 posted 2000-04-02 11:29 PM

Welcome to Passions, Collins! This is a beautiful poem! Please check your email for a special welcome!

Denise

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