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Open Poetry #6
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Into The Snow
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Into The Snow |
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dhuron Member
since 2000-03-19
Posts 476 |
She looks out the window the color leaves her angelic face Memories flood her mind He said they'll be together; forever The color leaves her angelic face She remembers the first meeting He said they'll be together; forever She feels alone and empty She remembers the first meeting Tears pour from her blue eyes She feels alone and empty He has taken away her warmth Tears pour from her blue eyes The Ring lays on the table He has taken away her warmth She sees his fugure in the snow The Ring lays on the table She is on her bed;alone She sees his figure in the snow Her bed offers no more warmth She is on her bed; alone His figure is clouded by the falling snow Her bed offers no more warmth He is gone His figure is clouded by the snow Memories flood her mind He is gone She looks out the window. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Daniel Huron - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Tess Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 288Australia |
I found this poem interesting..it started strong and then seemed to drift away..echoing the loss of love... I liked the repetition in it too, and the image of the blue eyes crying sticks in my mind..the ring on the table Great poem  "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies." -Aristotle |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Interesting format, almost a Pantonum, but yet not quite...I like...nicely done. Welcome to Passions |
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RAM Member
since 2000-03-24
Posts 153 |
very nicely done, indeed. and, if I remember from when I first learned about them, this is exactly the form of a pantoum, with the one tiny exception of the "falling snow" line not being repeated exactly. a fun form, but one I have a devil of a time playing with. thanks for sharing. RAM [This message has been edited by RAM (edited 03-24-2000).] |
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