Open Poetry #6 |
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The Fall of Reason |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
There’s a fox amongst the sheep A killer in the valley green The sheep graze so lazily As the killer remains unseen Moving stealthily in purpose Within the ranks of innocent sheep Waiting to devour, A chance for eternal sleep It’s more than the thrill of the kill, The hunt is everything For if we cannot control the body, Then our souls cannot take wing And that is what brings rhyme to reason Against the mind, stand the eyes to treason |
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© Copyright 2000 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved | |||
HrnBlwer11 New Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 1 |
The flow and use of words were great. I liked the transition from the hunt of the sheep to that hunt our flesh is heir to. I enjoyed the subtle way you described the killer. However, the ending seemed rather abrupt, but that also allows the reader to finish. I enjoyed your poem. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The hunt is everything For if we cannot control the body, Then our souls cannot take wing And that is what brings rhyme to reason Against the mind, stand the eyes to treason --------------- "brown eyes" now armed with trusty thesaurus...turns to letter D...(smile) you sir are...ABSTRUSE...and RECONDITE... now...will you explain this one to me too *L* by the way... the last two lines of this are perfection... stalking you abstrusly ![]() your jm |
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