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Open Poetry #6
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Betrayal
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Betrayal |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648
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The pain returns Again it burns Consuming me So totally In scorching flames Lit – to your shame I die again As I did then; The dead don’t cry So why do I? It would have been A lesser sin To run me through Why didn’t you? |
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| © Copyright 2000 Denise - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wow! Very powerful! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
See! So powerful I clicked twice on the reply button!  [This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 03-18-2000).] |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
You've written the sting of bitterness so well into this piece, Denise. Excellent. ~ Claire |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
wow Denise...this is awesome...you have captured the essence of these emotions...the last stanza is powerful.. take care, jm Now for me some words come easy But I know that they don't mean that much Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch You never knew what I loved in you I don't know what you loved in me Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be jackson browne |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
This is great Denise! I think the lenth of it only adds to the depth of it's power and meaning. Marina |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Excellent poem Denise, the pain of betrayal really shows here. |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
I know what you mean!  "Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. O,no! it is an ever-fixed mark....William Shakespeare |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Awww Denise, after a beautiful day at the ocean, what struck you to give you such pain? I'm sorry for whatever it is that causes you such grief my friend! Many hugs and much love to you! With prayers too! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Denise~ Seering pain ... I feel the heat. You've described it so well. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Your versatility is overwhelming how you can write of such peace and beauty and such anguish and fire almost simultaneously. Excellent poem, Denise, though sad. |
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Ravenlearns2fly Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 71 |
oh what beauty lies within your words of pain. I really liked this poem.!!!! Raven |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you all so much for reading and commenting. Betrayal of trust, I think, is one of the worst pains in the world. I didn't realize until the other day that this pain was still so strong within me. Thanks again for your warm and wonderful comments and thanks Rebecca for the hugs and prayers. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I guess that the positive side of tears, then, would be that they tell you you are indeed alive... and that's a good thing... as is this wonderful work, Denise..  |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wonderful poem Denise, so powerful and sad in content  |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Pain so evident ... Denise, this is writing at it's best ..... ((((HUGS)))) L, Shannon |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Applauding your talents and this strong and wonderful poem Liz |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Denise, a poignant, beautiful poem! Corinne |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Denise: I agree with you, betrayal of trust and the hurt continues on...well portrayed...I'm sorry, it hurts like nothing else on earth. HUSG |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a very powerful poem that just about everyone can relate to. I hope that writing this helped you release some of your pain. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Nan, Ruth, Pepper, Elizabeth, Corinne, Cindy and LoveBug for reading and for your warm and wonderfully comforting comments. It warms my heart! Denise |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Denise, this is indeed a powerful and strong poem as well as sad. Excellent writing! *hugs* my friend. What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you for reading and for your kind comments, Dark Angel, and for the hugs too! I appreciate it very much! Denise |
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