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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #6 |
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Mary Lou |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
I walked along hot dusty roads, at end of summer day, Feeling sorry for myself, no one with whom to play, Exiled to my grandpa's farm, on Kansas plain untreed, From the city had been sent, was one less mouth to feed. Twelve years old in isolation, no children within sight, So I wandered country lanes, in anger at my plight, One day I came upon a house, rough hewn and poorly built, On the porch a rocking chair, on chair, a faded quilt. Through gateless fence, with peeling paint, I walked through unmown lawn, It looked as if, no one was home, as if the owner's gone, Then I heard a friendly voice, a girl with golden hair, Calling from rope swing out back, from lone oak standing there. "Will you come and play with me, I'm lonely can't you see," I ran and joined my new found friend, as happy as can be, Suddenly my fate had changed, my exile now was pleasure, As I played with Mary Lou, my newfound friend, my treasure. Was getting late, was time to go, grandpa would be worried, So said goodbye to Mary Lou, and down the road I scurried, Grandpa asked what I had done, this hot and humid day, I told him of my Mary Lou, and how with her did play. With a look of puzzlement, grandpa scratched his head, Said perhaps its getting late, for you it's time for bed, The next day bright and early, grandpa called to me, Let's go for a little ride, to see what we can see. He drove me to a rough hewn house, with oak tree out behind, Said let's take a walk out back, to see what we can find, We came upon a little knoll, beyond the lone oak tree, A tiny cross with words inscribed, that grandpa read to me. "Here lies our daughter Mary Lou, who now resides in heaven, The angels came and took her home, when she was but eleven." Grandpa took my hand in his, as walked back to his truck, Not a single word was spoken, was if the words were stuck. As we drove away that morn, I turned and looked behind, Not knowing what I thought I'd see, or if I'd lost my mind, I saw a porch and rough hewn house, a quilt on rocking chair, And on a swing in oak out back, young girl with golden hair. [This message has been edited by Mike (edited 02-10-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Mike - All Rights Reserved | |||
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WilliamHugh Junior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 12MA |
That sent a shiver through my body. Truely amazing |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
This was gave me the chills Mr. Mike!!!! This was a very effective tale!!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Breathe~ Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315Washington... |
Chills and goosebumps! Great poem! Freedom of expression is the watch word... |
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Adriahh Junior Member
since 2000-02-09
Posts 18 |
chills and tears, how sweet |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Mike, this is superb. I admire the ability you (and so many others here) have to write these story poems. This one is perfection, really. Eerie, too.  Claire |
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
Mike, this is truly beautiful. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike, this is excellent and brought a lump to my throat. Such a sweet, sad story and so well told. Bravo!!! |
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bobbycat Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 233USA |
I'll have to agree with Claire on this one..I think the story poems are my favorite by far....and I love the way you've captured the innocence of the boy, the feeling of being "trapped"...excellent work! Bobbycat =^..^= |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Mike- You really brought it to life. I like the way it moved. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Mike, I really enjoyed this from start to finish. I felt like I was there in that yard watching. Very skillfully written. |
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Cuddlez Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 422Walla Walla, WA 99362 |
That is what I call an thought-invoking poem. How sad for both the characters. Makes one think how the Grandpa knew who Mary Jane was? His former playmate, perhaps? Time flies? Say it not so, time stays we go. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Got a few chills with this one....good tale |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
I'm sitting here with goosebumps all over, and my hair practically standing on end. You have a talent that is outstanding. What a gift, to tell such a story in poetry, and leave a person breathless! |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Do I need to tell you that this is good... I don't think so. Keep it up bubba. |
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angelswing Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705United Kingdom |
That was one of the most beautiful poems I have ever had the plessure to read, and it also sent a judder through my body, there must be something about great poetry that touches us all deep inside, write more now . |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
I have to admit, this is one of my poems I had no idea where it was going when I started. Was watching television and the first line popped into my head and it kind of flowed from there. Thank you all for your comments. If you are ever in Kansas, stop by and I'll introduce you to Mary Lou... |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
The pleasure of meeting MaryLou just might be enough to entice me to visit Kansas... This is simply awesome, Mike..  |
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