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Open Poetry #6
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water pistol from laramie
| Open Poetry #6 |
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water pistol from laramie |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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I wrote this into my tape recorder from my mouth pretty much right after I woke up this morning. Talk about a good way to clear the cobwebs.  Mike -water pistol from laramie- Sometimes life seems unfair to me Like a water pistol from Laramie: Whose action you have to pump repeatedly Just to get an arch, an arc of uncivility. But yet the stream is so civilized As it wets you right between the eyes -- And sometimes even between the thighs -- This little pistol we all prize. Sometimes you worry the clouds will swallow you whole. Sometimes you wonder, will there ever be any gold dust in this bowl? And sometimes you howl lost control Over the things you've sworn have stole your soul. But in again steps Laramie; And even though that's unfair to me, I will share it with you, and I'll share it with me. We'll see why pleasure begins with 'p' and ends with 'e'. I'm not even exactly sure what that means. There's no gold dust; just rice and beans. There's more than one way to fix the seams, Or pluck them away to save your dreams. And thank you water pistol from Laramie: I've seen some things I thought I'd someday see; So I'm not as surprised as I guess I could be. But thank you water pistol from Laramie. And though life isn't always what it seems to be. Cracked up, fragile statuette -- shadowed lonely. There's plenty of oil in this gun from Laramie To grease the joints and walk away free. There's no need to hide out in your store Stoned -- oh, the world is such a bore. No need to hide your life away in text. The Laramie pistol will get you next. So once more, thank you Laramie, And even my brother, Jeremy, And the waters from the California sea, Strengthening my creativity and clarity. An escape without self-delusion therapy. Sidestepping the horror, noticing the beauty. Saving us from drugs and droughts and thoughts that make us sink. Thank you water pistol from Laramie. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Mike, I don't know what you were dreaming about last night, but hey, I had beans and rice for dinner last night! (lol) This was neat, even if I didn't get it.The beaches of California are the best- especially Samoa. (off Eureka) Cool poem. -SEA |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Well, Quick Draw McGraw, I'm not so sure I understand this one ... but, hey! if it cleared cobwebs for you, then it's a good thing. Keep writing. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Bbuzz Member
since 1999-12-17
Posts 76Washinton State |
I am not sure why , exactly, but I want a water pistol from Laramie! LOL |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Mike, you've certainly got a "lot" going on in this piece...and this is what you woke up with today? (hmmmmm....) I must say, it's a wee bit more than what I woke up with! Claire |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Ok, now you've got me wondering....what exactly did you dream about last night??? Did you eat candy before bed??? LOL!!! This was great, my coffee and I enjoyed every bit of it this morning!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
You've got a problem with being too interesting. After the first two stanzas, I felt more like running off and getting my pistol, than reading the rest of the poem. (But I stuck in there. NOW I'll go get my pistol!) |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
But this is how dreams work. It's not easy getting a dream down on paper the way it happens. Made perfect sense to me.  But then, you see some of my dreams. Next time, Mike, lay off the beans. ~Gene |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
bsquirrel, Sounds like you got pissed instead of a pistol in laramie. But I enjoyed the read. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
See? Sy got it right away. Now boys, when you get done playing with your water pistols,lets talk about passionate poetry! This one did make me smile, though Liz |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
SEA, Eureka? That's too far! Marge, Thanks. I'm surprised something this semi-coherent came out of me at all that early on. Bbuzz, You won't be laughing when I SuperSoak you! Meadowmuse, There's definitely a lot going on in this. Exactly what, I'm only vaguely certain. Thanks for reading and enjoying. devina, Glad to make you smile. And I don't remember my dreams at all... Ted, To heck with Laramie. Do you remember those stupid Entertech motorized pistols? The AK Centerfire? I retain some interesting childhood memories. u_gene, I can't comment without sounding crude. Thanks! Seymour, Not quite. Maybe a few more reads are in order? E.S., Glad you liked it; and again, not quite. Mike |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
really liked this, great job...love the way you write |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Geesh...why can't I have dreams like that |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
When all else fails, there's nothing like a water pistol pelting to get the day going. Enjoyed! |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
LoL, all I keep thinking about is cigarettes LoL, cause on the Simpson's the brand of cigarettes theyhave are Laramie, anyway, i too am quite curious what you dreamt aboutand so forth to wake up and write this LoL, but whatever it was, this is a great poem! Just be glad I'm not your child! *evil grin* |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I'm not sure, but I think I am now suffering from "water pistol from Laramie-envy..." Quick, somebody page Dr. Freud!!! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Corazon, Thank you, and glad you enjoyed. hoot, Actually, I didn't dream that either -- at least not that I remember. But, for the life of me, I can't figure out what got me thinking of water pistols either. Martie, Thanks. It's been years since I've gone anywhere near a water pistol fight; a shame. Echo Rhayne, Ah yes, Laramie. You know, I hadn't thought of that -- which surprises me, since I love the Simpsons. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I messed up the manufacturer's name -- the company that makes Super Soakers -- but I'm not changing it now. It sorta adds to the dreamlike quality of this poem. Yeah, that's it.serenity, Hey, you figured it out! Well, partly. Mike |
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