Open Poetry #6 |
The Scent of You |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
The Scent of You Before you were my mother, you were porcelain-skin youth and eyes the color of a foggy day sea. I know that hint of smile in the glass frame with traces of sunset lit hair, it is a picture of you staying. Just dipped finger in Chanel No.5, behind each ear, was the scent of you leaving. Shaded good books and clothes line strung with gathering sunlight, hunched over pick up sticks and hand-cut paper dolls, this cool sun-dried sheet, the scent of you staying. I never saw you in the Petunia until I found one in my garden and breathed the scent of you staying. I search for arch of lid breath of flower and trace my finger on the cold mirror and see you in me staying. I breathe you for you remain behind each ear with scent of you leaving. And home still lingers sleeping in sun-dried sheets, the scent of you staying. [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 03-16-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Martie this is SO beautiful and PERFECT this really touched me... i have a small sachet of Chantilly powder from my grandmother...when ever I want to rememeber what her hugs were like...I take in that fragrance and she is there. thanks for sharing this. take care, jm |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
Oh, Martie, this is absolutely lovely. Yes, scents do linger in our memories, like melodies, to surprise us any time at all. And yes, I can see my mother in my mirror too. Tears, my friend. Tears. A strong, well-worded poem. |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Now this is poetry.....so beautiful...the words...the format....the staying and the leaving....Very Excellent. |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
I'm lucky enough to still have my mother and father but your poem does remind me of the little things that can spark a reminisce of a loved one from our past ... I quite often see my kids as toddlers and it strikes pangs of longing in my heart to relive those days Rex}<{{{{o> |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
'and see you in me staying' Oh, Martie, I absolutely love that line! Beautiful, touching poem! Denise |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Martie, your poetry always makes scents to me. Another beautiful work.... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Oh, Martie~ You've squeezed my heart. Images come in rapid fissure. Mirrored reflection shows she lives on in me. Tears of easy-remembering send me to the chiffonier ... wrapping me in her scent left on delicate lace. One small bottle of Joy, unopened, holding her scent for all time. I caress the smoothness of the crystal bottle. Now I fully understand the note she tucked in the box. Darling daughter ... something to remember me by .. Love Mother 10/12/94 Martie ... thank you. ~*Marge*~ [This message has been edited by Marge Tindal (edited 03-15-2000).] |
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bboog Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 303Valencia, California |
Martie, this is a sweet poem and I liked it. I think that some of us olfactory impaired men (like me) would like a descriptive phrase after Chanel No. 5. You know exactly how it smells. The challenge is to describe it to me (the reader) so that I can relate immediately to it. (Some of us may not know that smell simply by the name Chanel No. 5) Yet if I say freshly mowed grass, you might instantly know the scent. Also the line "sleeping in sun-dried sheets" might work better "snuggled in sun-dried sheets" ? Your call. Hopefully this doesn't annoy you too much. bboog |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Martie...this is so touching. Always your imagery is delightful |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is wonderful, Martie.. It's a great tribute.. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well Martie - got any of that oxygen I find you happen to take away whenever I read one of your poems? Whatcha trying to do - kill me?? K 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Janet Marie--I am so glad that this touched you and brought back your own memories. Rosemary--Isn't it nice to be able to see her everyday in yourself, she must have been beautiful. JML--Your excellent made me smile Rex Allen--Yes it is wonderful, those triggers and memories--I have a few toddler ones too Denise--I'm so glad my poem touched you Balladeer--Your reply scent me--and smiled my face Marge--your reply brought tears--thank you sweet friend bboog--I think you missed the point Ruth--Thank you for always touching me with your replies Nan--she was a wonderful woman Kamla--You want to exchange oxygen containers? |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Martie: I always know I'm in for a treat when I open one of your poems... this is delightful!!! |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
WOW, this is a wonderful poem! Butterscotch always reminds me of my grandmother! Keep up the good work! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Martie: I love this, the images it conjures up and the memories as well.. I have always worn Opium, (I did dab a little on the screen so I hope it can be smelt, in case no one knows the smell)...oooops, shame on me..*g*...and a few times someone has remarked that they smelt it somewhere and thought of me...and when I've been working, I've been tracked by the smell as well..LOL..i.e. they know I've been in an office cause the scent lingers on...I guess not many women wear it but I adore it, makes me smile just to smell it.. Big HUSG I love the way I look in your eyes, I'm just me tho'... We are all works in progress, no? |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Suthern--I feel the same about yours Love Bug--Thanks for the Wow--and butterscotch--sensory memories are wonderful! RG--Makes me want to go out and test some Opium, so I can think of you...you are so sweet. |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
I'm with Kamla ... hey... please pass the oxygen.... Martie, this made me think of my grandmother, Her scent of choice was lavander .... Another perfect and most beautiful piece ... Love, Shannon |
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