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Open Poetry #6
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Shadows
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Shadows |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
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Shadows I watched my shadow stretch the ground Awake with me without a sound. In motions that are just like mime. And mirrored me like pantomime It seemed to move like puppetry, In lesser light and mimicry. Fathered by the sun, a clone Mothered by an objects loan. No feel of pain, pleasure or strife Reborn each light into new life. Without our blood, tissue or bone. Brought into this world full grown. Made of shifting mediums sprawl Transparent and in constant fall Chameleon like abilities With hide and seek alacrity. An ever dark and brooding base Light induced, but never a face. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I like this, Seymour... our companion that never feels our fears even though it joins us in our dances of joy... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Suthern, Loved your wonderful comment. *L* Sy |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow, Sy. That last line is a stickler. Great poem. Very deep and meaningful, Michael |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Michael, A very nice comment, thank you much. Sy |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
More to my liking, I have found Are two shadows on the ground Moving in a pantomime One is his and one is mine Lovely poem Love ya Liz |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Sy, Everything you write is magically beautiful ...... Love ya, Shannon |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
If I could be your shadow I'd follow you around until I found that muse of yours mine lost would be yours found I love shadows and your poem, of course. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Can those shadows think, ya think? While they're floating on the brink Of our semi-concious state? Can they see us and relate? Although their moves must be our own Do they approve, applaud, condone? Or do they frown and just endure? Only the shadow knows for sure. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Elizabeth, What a wonderful idea, I'm with you. Love Sy Pepper, Thank you sweet. *L* Martie, You can be my shadow any time. *L* Balladeer, What you say is true, Only the shadow knows. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wonderful! Your poetry is always thought provoking! I loved your artwork in the 'group photo'...you are such a talented man! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Wonderful thoughts in this, Sy! Wonderful responses too! Denise |
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bboog Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 303Valencia, California |
S~ I think a little minor tune-up is needed with this one. Example, in the first stanza you write I watched my shadow stretch the ground Awake with me without a sound. In motions that are just like mime. And mirrored me like pantomime I think it might be rewritten I watched my shadow stretch the ground Awake with me without a sound. In motions that were just like mime. It mirrored me in pantomime Perhaps that's just me, but I think a little tinkering with it would make a good poem even better. best regards, bboog |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Sy, This is a picture of perfection, I loved it! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Poet deVine, Thank you on both counts. *L* Denise, Thank you, you sweet thing. *L* bboog, I accept the tinker and will make the change, thank you. Sy Butterfly, Perhaps a shadow of perfection, thank you. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Sy, even your shadow speaks words of wisdom..  |
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