Would this make you cry? - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #6

Would this make you cry?

redwriter1
Member

since 1999-07-22

Posts 480
Franklin, TN

0 posted 2000-03-14 09:57 PM

You can't leave, not without me
we had a deal, don't you remember
you swore, you promised I could come

You can't take it back
it's a done deal
don't you dare go back on a promise
it's not fair and I don't care
who you tell
we had a deal

(tell me what pictures or stories come to mind with this chorus)

It could go a million ways.. so I"m looking for your fresh ideas. (smile)

thanks guys!!

(( ohhh and.. try not to kill anyone.. if at all possible.. it's been done to death)) eww.. bad pun sorry

[This message has been edited by redwriter1 (edited 03-14-2000).]

mariee66
Senior Member

since 2000-01-30

Posts 596
Recess, OfYourMind

1 posted 2000-03-14 10:23 PM

Hmm... I'm thinking two lovers... possibly young... who made a pact~
One has begun to have second thoughts~
The other is pressuring~
Am I anywhere close to homeplate???~
Or am I out in left field???~

Marie~

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind." The Bard

redwriter1
Member

since 1999-07-22

Posts 480
Franklin, TN

2 posted 2000-03-14 10:25 PM

I'm trying to be a little more original, as in.. siblings.. (cos that's where I got the idea from). something showing that love runs very deep, (and not just for lovers).

got any new ideas now? story line?

I have an idea in mind.. just seeing what you all think.

redwriter1
Member

since 1999-07-22

Posts 480
Franklin, TN

3 posted 2000-03-15 07:32 AM

mmm noone has any thoughts

guess it's time for re-writing ..lol
www.mp3.com/kaylynn

[This message has been edited by redwriter1 (edited 03-15-2000).]

RainbowGirl
Member Elite

since 1999-07-31

Posts 3023
United Kingdom

4 posted 2000-03-15 07:34 AM

A parent dying and leaving his child and the the child is angry....and I could be way of base as well..

HUGS

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.