Open Poetry #6 |
Conception Of The Whore |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
What is this word that I have heard so casual, in conversation? Want to know the truth of it, the sickening revelation? Virgin sacrifice--rusty shed-- tender age of seven. A tiny, tasty morsel, a bit of bread, unleavened. An offering to Satan wicked in his grin (again and again and again...) Lines of friendship? Wires crossed? (The serpent is subtile, my obtuse friend.) An understatement. CRIMINAL. Satan shrugged and walked away. Echoes of his laughter taunting me today. A guilty child, alone to bear burden of The Secret Sin. (again and again and again...) struck nearly mute, blind in refute, the Way Out, for me was In... an ocean in a bottle... haystack in a needle... it seemed to me a simple grace to stop the pain, un-feel the feeling. At fourteen, we met, yet again, Satan and three minions. After that, I cared not of any man's opinion. Bloodied to unconsciousness, tossed into the river, they thought me dead-- and so i am, still to be delivered. Life and water, hate and death-- ugly catechism... wretched absolution--Lucifer's baptism. At twenty-three he tackled me on a shadowed, dim-lit street. Before I knew that it was he I felt him enter me. All the earth herself was shaken as i felt myself forsaken. Something snapped within myself-- for i would NOT be taken. That night i gave it all away-- i met him, beat-for-beat. My soul caved in, i met his grin as he spat into my face. (Once again, no proper end, he simply walked away...) So do not feed me "metaphor", a hurtful gift of Lamentation. All i did was simply live up to expectation. So forgive me when the white horse calls-- forgive me if i graze. Forgive me if the sun's so bright I retreat into the haze. Forgive me for my broken heart. Forgive me when I cry. Tears are all I have sometimes to prove I'm still alive. |
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© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Shelley Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 263Ohio, USA |
I honestly don't know what to say, except you have nothing to ask forgiveness for. Tears have to be one of the top gifts we were given. I love the way this is written, no mistaking the emotion here. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Overwhelmingly powerful, Serenity. Stumped for words except perhaps to say...excellent writing and tears are something we often take for granted until we lose the ability to shed them. (I know that well). K 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
I'm speachless........this was very powerful. |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Powerful work you have written. Excellent imagery and emotion in this sad piece. The expression was good as well. "Tears are all I have to prove I'm still alive". I have other feelings about this that I can't express here. Remarkable indeed. |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
We can look back on our own lives and point at the bad times ... some things we try to forget and others we can't ... most of us have things we try to hide, but what you have described here is far worse than a recuring nightmare Apparently you have managed to hang on to your sanity and I hope you also have some happy times to look back on At best I can only offer a prayer for your future peace and ... serenity Rex |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
serenity... this poem is so exceptionally well expressed...It just literally takes my words...its reasons move me deeply... i am at a loss to tell you... take care, jm Now for me some words come easy But I know that they don't mean that much Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch You never knew what I loved in you I don't know what you loved in me Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be jackson browne |
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Deb Lynne Member
since 1999-08-19
Posts 180Where blue skies meet blue ocean |
Sad, strong & touching. God bless! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent poem, Serenity, about painful experiences. You have expressed the pain well in this. Denise |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Serenity~ This is so powerful, honey. You've shown great courage in this piece. I so admire that courage. You live. You feel. You cry ... and that is more than I can say for some who don't see the truths in themselves. This piece proves you are alive ... and the tears are shared with friends. Remarkable, Serenity. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
It is very powerful work you have here. And Serenity it wasn't your fault and you have nothing to apologize for. Elizabeth "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!" -The Crucible |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
The power in this poem is beyond question...I would like to address the presentation of it. This poem is nearly flawless in its execution....brilliantly done. To take the things you wanted to say and present them in the way you have (making it look easy, btw)is the mark of an excellent writer. My admiration of it, and you, is very high. Well done. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
My most profound and humble thanks to all. Not something that I usually would share, but i feel that it is important to share even the ugliness of our lives...who knows maybe somebody, somewhere will read this and be able to talk about it. And please, rest assured, I am okay. I have come to terms with it. And besides, NOT being alright really sucks. I WIN THE FINAL ROUND!!! |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
This was the most emotion provoking piece I've ever read my dear "sis"...I know you feel better letting it out...pain and courage...this will never cease to be great!!! love you, Devina Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Strong words. Sometimes a word used to express one thought can be viewed differently in the eyes of another having a completely different meaning than that of the originator. Be strong for you know we are friends and I am there even through tough times. Just need our minds to be on the same page. You've outdone yourself with this one SOMEONE must have struck a very deep chord even if it were by accident. Keep up the great work. You should write more than you have lately. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Exorcising our demons is painful, but also very, very healthy. It is only then we can put them behind us. Corinne |
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MyPenNameIsSam Member
since 2000-03-06
Posts 94usa |
Dear Serenity, There's no need to ask forgiveness from anyone... It's so difficult to go on with one's life after these things happen and it's so difficult for others to understand what you're feeling when you feel that you can't tell them...but that doesn't mean that you must ask forgiveness. Perhaps it helps you to forgive yourself by asking others forgiveness even though it's not necessary...or helps you forgive what has happened (even though that's probably mostly impossible) and in that case it's okay to ask forgiveness, but know that aside from helping yourself, this forgiveness that you ask for is unneccessary...(does this make sense? i'm not sure if I wrote it so others can comprehend what i'm trying to say) I'm glad you've been able to put this behind you as you've said... but I know it still haunts you at times -- know that I send you love and light for these times and I'm sorry that these things happened to you. love, molly aka sam "One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time." -Andre Gide |
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