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Open Poetry #6
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They have passed here
| Open Poetry #6 |
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They have passed here |
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jbowie Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 135BANGOR (that OR) ME |
An angry rodent, eyes darting about, sees, filthy dirt, grimy and trod upon Murky water, deadly to drink Sunstroked trees withering in a barren forest, peeling bark Stench-filled air acid to breath Humans were here, they left their mark |
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| © Copyright 2000 James Bowie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Oh, those dirty rats! Great twist. We do indeed leave our mark, don't we? Excellent. |
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EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
Nice piece, fellow rodent |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Whose worse, the rodents or the humans?...great turnabout, James! Denise |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Indeed!!!  |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
They're rats I tell you. Dirty rotten rats. Call the exterminator ! Interesting read. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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bboog Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 303Valencia, California |
I like the idea of this poem, maybe retitle it~ Humans Have Passed Here. Also maybe consider adding asbestos, lead-based paint and a few aluminum cans? Your call. bboog |
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jbowie Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 135BANGOR (that OR) ME |
Bboog - yeah I should have added a bunch of other junk but was just keeping it simple and maybe the title could change but I left Humans out of the title cause the point was to make a twist of it. |
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