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Open Poetry #6
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Twelve Bells
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Twelve Bells |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Came out the north, in black of night, As venomous as serpents bite, Laying waste to peaceful village, Devastation, rape and pillage. Heading south, conflagration, In creature's wake, annihilation, As hounds of hell on horseback rode, The wrath of Khan, on land bestowed. Up ahead, does next prey loom, Word had spread, impending doom, People in their huts aquiver, To gods their plea, from hell deliver. Small village lay on mountain's side, No where to run, no where to hide, Down below, ran river deep, While up above, rock ledges steep. On the wind, came people's cries, For Huns lay wait, until sun's rise, Then with the dawn, deep river ford, Up mountain's side, to redden sword. In single file, up narrow path, Soon would feel, of Vandal's wrath, Then from the crags, came meager band, Not with swords, but rocks in hand. A hoarde of locusts, on horse's back, Were met by twelve, on foot attack, For short instant, death's tide was stemmed, Below rock's ledge, attackers hemmed. Up above, a boulder pried, Avalanche, no where to hide, Beneath the rocks, black scourge was buried, As were the twelve, with rocks they carried. On mountain's side, small village lay, Where townsfolk toil, and children play, Where it is said, each day at dawn, Twelve bells are rung, for twelve men gone. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Mike - All Rights Reserved | |||
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angel girl Member
since 1999-07-23
Posts 322within a whisper... |
Wow, I feel honored to be the first one to respond to this. I really like it. Good job and keep it up. One touch of nature makes the whole world kin. -William Shakespeare |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Vivid and bone chilling imagery Mike. A very well done poem. I hear the bells... Michael |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Oh Mike, you are amazing! You have so much vision and such great language ability. Bravo! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Yes, Bravo, Mike! This is excellent!  Denise |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Angel Girl- thank you for the comment and I will attempt to keep it up. Micheal- appreciate the comment. as long as they aren't tolling for me. Martie and Denise- thank you both for the gracious comments, they are appreciated. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wow! (I think I said that word about your last poem!) This is incredible writing. I could feel the fear, hear the bells. Thank you for this! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Mike~ Brilliantly portrayed. Inspirational as well. I heard the rumble of the stone cascading down the hill I feared the loss of mighty warriors hemmed against their will. I hear the tolling of the bells, the cries of sympathy. Thankful the cacaphony of the bells does not ring for me. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Well constructed, Mike. This piece maintains an anticipatory aire throughout. I enjoyed it! ~ Claire |
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