»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #6
»
~ In the Arms of my Ocean ~
| Open Poetry #6 |
|
~ In the Arms of my Ocean ~ |
|
|
poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas 
|
~ In the Arms of my Ocean ~ - - Hold me tight - - My heart is but a vessel on the sea the waters dark and looming seem to want to swallow me. I cannot steer, my sails are ripped to shreds the strong winds blow me senseless as this torment through me spreads... - - Hold me tight - - I cry out into darkness all around "Please, I don't want to flounder!" But I have no voice - no sound. I try to shoot a flare into the sky I know no one will see it - it's my chance to say goodbye. - - Hold me tight - - My vessel now is breaking fast apart I cling to broken splinters all that's left within my heart. I know this storm will pass, and I'll be gone a sunken ship, a memory a soul tossed for so long. - - Hold me tight - - With my final breath, before I close my eyes I gurgle on the water and I start to realize... The waters dark and looming are my peace the ocean is my Captain In his arms, is sweet release. Please hold me tight "O Captain, my captain..." -flounderingFemmeFatale March 9, 2000 |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Gennifer David - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
This is lovely. Especially "Please hold me tight O Captain, my Captain." James |
||
|
RSEvans Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147Tulsa, OK, USA |
Perhaps you've already read "The Ship"? from Open #2 or #3 (don't remember). I would be happy to repost it if you like. I think it fits you better than this one. |
||
|
poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Yes Robert, please do repost! I would love to read it if I haven't already....maybe I need to REread it!  Actually, this morbid piece fits me like a glove right now.  Nothing like feeling like your drowning, and there's no one within reach to grab onto...just sucking seawater, I am. It burns. |
||
|
RSEvans Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147Tulsa, OK, USA |
seawater sucks...Your repost is on the board. Keep in mind though, you are not alone. And you need some grease for those wheels...LOL |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is so painful but beautiful too--I wish you a life raft from this turbulance. |
||
|
Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
My close friends call me Captain. and your wish is my command.(smile) Very nice poem. you are a wonderful poet. Bet you haven't heard that before. |
||
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Please allow me to throw you a life jacket and a life preserver. . . Now, what are you going to do with them? ------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
||
|
jbowie Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 135BANGOR (that OR) ME |
You do very well with your method of writing. Absolute great flow through out. You do show a great deal of lost hope and pain in acceptance of your situation. This is a very good piece and I just wanted to let you know that I really undertood this, at what you must have also been through to be able to produce such a heartfelt poem A real man kisses his children goodnight |
||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
pFF, Now this is one I can believe. My favorite is the line about sending up a flare; it's a chance to say goodbye. Anything I said about your light-hearted treatment in the other poem is null and void. This one's great! Mike |
||
|
Compgirl Member
since 2000-02-19
Posts 85USA |
Very nice..you have painted that picture in my mind..  |
||
|
jazzgal Junior Member
since 2000-03-07
Posts 37 |
Very deep, emotional... I liked the part: "The waters dark and looming are my peace/the ocean is my Captain/In his arms, is sweet release." It does seem that the dark can be a "sweet release" of all the things you've gone through. I don't know if this is from life, but it seems so true... |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Oh Gen...how I know this! Hugs ok - and good work. K'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
||
|
EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
I am only new to netpoets but I shall keep returning. It's a hunmbling experience to compare the work of real poets such as yourself with my own. Great work, sad that you feel this way though. Just thought i should clarify the term "real poets" before someone takes offence, was refering to my own lack of ability compared to all those I have read on netpoets. [This message has been edited by EagleOne (edited 03-12-2000).] |
||
|
MyPenNameIsSam Member
since 2000-03-06
Posts 94usa |
Once again a beautiful poem, Femme You grasp that "drowning in life" feeling very well. -molly aka sam "One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time." -Andre Gide |
||
|
EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
you have strongly captured the fear of sinking in a ship, yet the meaning of this wonderful read lies at further depths. Spellbinding |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
