Open Poetry #6 |
Dovetailing |
Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Dovetailing A piece of me floated away last night, broke away like eroding earth in a flood of unexpected tears and unchecked emotions. Breathed me in leisurely, steam rising from my cup as I evaporated into you. As time passes, I see less and less of me and more and more of we. © 2000 Corinne Bailey |
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© Copyright 2000 Corinne - All Rights Reserved | |||
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Beautiful, Corinne! Sounds like the perfect relationship! Denise |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Perfect title to a perfect poem! You are an amazing poet! Liz |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Corinne, this is stunning..and I have to agree with Liz, you are amazing |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Corinne, I too agree with Elizabeth, well done. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Oooooh, Corinne~ I want to drink from this cup ! Absolutely wonderful ! What a moment you've captured in such a unique way. Smiles ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
~Corinne~ Love grows on the wing Dove takes journey from closed hand Freedom to touch again... Parker Ok I know he's lost it with this haiku stuff. Dovetailing is very sweet, your writing is always different. A true painter of life. It sounds like your in love. Its always the sweet ones falling in love somewhere else. Parker |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
This is so gently expressed...but I felt a sadness, reading this poem, as though it spoke of losing one's "self" slowly. I'm sure it is purely my own perception that found a sadness here, but regardless, it is a beautiful piece of writing. ~ Claire |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Thank you, Denise, Elizabeth, Martie, Seymour and Marge for your very kind comments! Parker, Don't be so sure of what you think of as reality! Claire, I guess there is some sense of sadness, but in giving up of one's self, there is more joy than any other emotion. Corinne |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I did catch that sense of sadness in this poem, Corinne - all in all this is quite the loveliest poem... Well done! K 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Corinne, this is one lucky fella....and I'm sure he knows it |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Rockin' quite well here! I agree with Severn, (don't tell her that,) that there's an underlying sense of saddness here. I choose to see that as the sense of loss over the exclusivity of self being replaced by the wonder of a joining. Though that joining is sought after, there's still hat feeling of sadness over losing somethign. Well done, I like this much especially how you chose to end it! |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Oh my, this is beautiful. It's a wondeful feeling to become so immersed in the "we" aspect of a relationship. You capture the essence well. Michael |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Thank you, Severn, Balladeer, Christopher and Michael! I guess it's the yin and yang of love, giving up of one's self, there is a sense of loss but so much more is gained in doing so, don't you think? Thanks again for all your very sweet comments. Corinne |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
BEAUTIFUL!!!!! Applauds this fine work |
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