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| Open Poetry #6 |
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Nashville |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA 
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I spent the night in a cheap hotel on cheap sheets in a cheap town curled up next to a bottle and a cheap woman named Sally. I only know her name is Sally because I read it on her nametag when I picked her up outside of the Dairy Queen in my old battered Dodge truck and drove her here. She thought I was a record producer. After a couple drinks and a few laughs we slowly worked our way out of our clothes and into the old cheap bed that still had one of those tacky vibrating mechanisms underneath of it and the quarter slot to feed the toothjarring monster built into the wall just above the headboard. (it stole my quarter) I finished off the last of the cheap bottle and quickly did the things I needed to do to make myself feel like a man and wished Ms. Sally well and told her goodnight and that i'd call her and all the other horrible lies you tell a woman in a cheap hotel in a cheap town after you've used her and left her lying on cheap sheets with an empty bottle of cheap whiskey. I laid a 20 on the dresser as I went out the door. Couldn't have her walking home now could I? Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Christopher M. Grimm - All Rights Reserved | |||
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
this poem is not meant to offend or degrade anyone at all..it simply tells a story that happens many times over every day in our real world. I only mean to point out a major disfunction in our world, this is not something I would ever do or be proud of having done, but it does happen. Im just telling a story. THanks...chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
ChrisG~ I didn't find it tawdry at all. It is fact, indisputable fact. I like the way it's told ... forthright and without the color of lies. (sorry 'bout your quarter)  ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Thanks Marge....coming from someone with as much talent and passion as you have that makes me feel really good to know that you read me. Thanks Chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Chris...you do have a way with words. The images are very easily to visualize as you have written them. Geesh.....you need to get some stuff out to a publisher, hear me? |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
A slice of life indeed...I could almost see the darkened room..lit only by a flashing neon sign...good one.... |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Great story telling here! Corinne |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
A sad tale well told, Chris! I enjoyed this one! Denise |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Thanks everyone....I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read me.... Chris [This message has been edited by CMGrimm (edited 03-06-2000).] |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
And thanks Ruth....that is a tremendous compliment...thank you. Chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I think the late of emotive adjectives adds to the despair and pathetic (in the true sense) sense I get from this - and that to me means a poem well written. Well done indeed. 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Thanks Severn...... Usually Im not one to overuse adjectives but I've been experimenting with new styles and techniques as late and it seems that it works really well in some situations. Try reading this aloud and not pausing at the linebreaks....it makes for an interesting live-read piece. Chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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Nurse Crachet Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 318They know where I am! |
I read this first to myself then I did as you suggested to Severn and read it out load, and let me tell you both ways it is fabulous, you captured a sad event (that does take place often)with much class in writing. I agree with Ruth look into getting published you are talented. |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Thanks Nurse Cratchet....Im looking into that...but the real world is a harsh place and unless my name is King or Grisham or Rice publishers don't take much faith in a 25yr old boy from KY writing poetry and stage drama...I'll keep trying anyway. Thanks for the wonderful compliments on this and all of my other pieces. Chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain |
i pretty much always read work outloud... this was a fantastic read. you have a firm grip on being able to show us something without losing anything in the telling .. i love that. i know this is what... 4yrs old.. but don't let age keep you from reaching out there and finding someone to publish your work. the right fit is out there for you, as far as a publisher is concerned... if you haven't already found one. i'm glad you replied to me tonight, only for the simple fact... that it had me go looking for your own work ! snow "yet each man kills the thing he loves |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
enjoyed this write..has the sound of an old black & white movie where the detective is doing the narration..  I know, I've picked you out of the crowd in the last few days..I do that..I'm having a cmgrimm fest right now..lol enjoying.. Hey, Are you still looking to publish? You should! I like your style..(I'd like to publish too, but have no clue where to start...) hugs, g "We of the craft are all crazy...all are more or less touched." Lord Byron |
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