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Open Poetry #6
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the consequences of her actions---revised
| Open Poetry #6 |
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the consequences of her actions---revised |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209
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She spat the words out of her mouth because she was choking on the bitter taste and as she watched they impacted and started to breed with his unbelief at the voicing and she quickly grasped that they had now grown much too ominous for him to ever get them all back inside successfully... so she hid behind an air of indifference and her pride painted a smirk to hide the fear [This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 02-10-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Did he say it or her? It felt very strong, I'm just not sure why............ (but I liked it)-SEA |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I like this much! Once said, it can not be unsaid...which is why I prefer to write... Delete, Delete, Delete... I'll be looking for more! |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
The talent of masking our own feelings, then crying later in the privacy of our hearts...very effective poem missy!!!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
well, so far this poem missed its mark, so, then too, I guess did I as the poet, but I thank you for the read SEA, she did....and thanks serentity, yep, almost made Unsaid the title  devina, thanks yep we all have our masks |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
If the man is worthy of your friendship, he would be able to see through the mask and fears and recognize you for the kind human being you are....as I would. |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
well Balladeer, I revised this, as it was not at all what about what people were reading into it, no I see you as a a gentle man, and as such would not anger a lady to the point of spitting the bile out of her soul, and then make her fear that he will make her eat her words....this is not about a gentle man.... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
So I wasn't too far off the mark with my email comments about bitterness and fear? *S* Well done, dear friend... |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
nope, but then you know me...sigh...almost as well as I know myself....hugs my friend |
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