navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #6 » This poem is about...
Open Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic This poem is about... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Jone
Junior Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 41


0 posted 2000-03-01 04:10 PM



The light I saw,
At the end of the tunnel.
Is now like a drop,
At the end of a funnel.

The hope I felt,
That my dreams would come true.
Became a mess,
A mess noone could undo.

I stoped the pain and misery,
I thought I had fixed my problems,
Only today did I realize,
I have yet to finally solve them.

I tried my hardest,
To make myself glad.
It's hurts so much,
To be so sad.

I can no longer cantrol the hurt.
The way I feel takes over my brain.
I feel powerless in my own demise,
As it were if I was lying under a moving train.

I will try again,
Or will I cease.
I wish not to try,
I could do so with ease.

Smart men know when to quit,
But somehow they never do.
I should learn to quit,
Yes, that's what I should do.

So today I stand,
As I did the day before.
I will not try,
And it will hurt, evermore.




[This message has been edited by Jone (edited 03-06-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Jone - All Rights Reserved
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
1 posted 2000-03-01 04:38 PM


Don't let the pain become too comforting...
you're only robbing yourself in the long run.  Been there - done that.  Relate well to the frustration and the futility you're feeling.  I can only offer a (hug) and a  


michael

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
2 posted 2000-03-02 06:05 PM


On a lighter note ...
That light you saw at the end of the tunnel was probably a train ,so you obviously got off the tracks in time , or you wouldn't have written this .

O.K. , what did you expect from a guy with a name like Dr. Moose ? , something serious ?
Doc

Jone
Junior Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 41

3 posted 2000-03-02 06:41 PM


So Often in poetry it is left to our imagination to tell what the poem is truly about... i would like you to try to interpret this message.... a challange to all...

Jon E.

Mystykyl
Junior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 32

4 posted 2000-03-02 07:16 PM


a tunnel is like the life we live...it can end or turn at any time and we might not know it or it could be like a fork in the road
the funnel is like your life ends and you go crashing down through the little hole at the bottom
your hopes and dreams changed because of a choice you made and could be taken as a mistake
you turned to something that you thought would solve your problems but it only created more and turned your life into a mess then you found out what you had to do to fix your life
you ended up hurting and being sad when all you wanted was happiness
now you feel like you cant change or control anything in your life so you get even more depressed
now it feels like you could just give up so easily and die but at the same time you want to try
you are trying to become a smart man and learn to quit the things that make your life so bad and make you so sad and hurt so
now you just give up and let the pain hurt you instead of dealing with the real problem
so i guess i have to say that this is about a life tyhat can either end or begin depending on how we live it...
your poem is very intriguing
Misty

 

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
5 posted 2000-03-02 07:22 PM


The poem is about contemplating suicide. Am I right?

If so, don't. Life may not be easy, but it's better than the alternative.

If I'm wrong, then what's it about?

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
6 posted 2000-03-02 07:28 PM


We focus on whatever our problem is and through our own interpretation of the situation...that isn't always how it is though...words and non-verbal communication can be misunderstood and often are...it takes a very commited relationship to continue asking through the hurt until a level of understanding is reached and then the tunnel is no more for light can then be seen...

Hmmmmmm, it's gone midnight, time for bed said Zebedee...

HUSG

 I dropped a tear in the ocean
when it is found, I will stop loving you...

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
7 posted 2000-03-02 07:37 PM


Initial thought without reading the other responses: Love... maybe Suicide?
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
8 posted 2000-03-02 07:48 PM


I think this poem is about the choices we have to make in life....whether to keep on fighting and giving our all or to throw in the towel. I got the impression of a battle within, struggling to do the "right thing" I also felt like the person in this poem feels there is a way out of the "mess" if only he/she can figure out exactly why they are feeling the way they are. I see the light at the end of the tunnel as being salvation. I may be totally off base here, if so Im sorry. But hopefully something I said made sense LOL.

AMY  

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~

Jone
Junior Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 41

9 posted 2000-03-02 07:48 PM


wow, a few people think suicide... not at all... it's a complete lack of suicidal thought.. i dont' believe in suicide..i'm liking the responces.... some of you are really getting close.. i'll post the answer on saturday nigth
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2000-03-02 07:52 PM


To me, it's about hope in a dead-end situation, holding on to hope, used as a numbing device, until it wears off. Then reality hits and still you cling to hope but really want to give up, contemplating which is best, and in the end, you think if you don't try, one way or another, you failed.

Maybe you could be at a crossroad, and guilty for standing there, waiting, but in a way, you just want to sit down.

 ~shadows dance by the light within~



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
11 posted 2000-03-02 08:18 PM


It's about trying to quit smoking.
HelmutB
Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964
Canada
12 posted 2000-03-02 08:54 PM


I agree with PdV smoking or some other sort of addiction, hope it's not passions because that is not an addiction. It's way beyond that

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.


January Flowers
Member
since 2000-02-01
Posts 209
South Carolina
13 posted 2000-03-02 09:00 PM


Definately about the decision between Nike shoes or Adidas.  Or....maybe a decision between "to eat another donut or not".  Um, is it about a decision at all?    
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
14 posted 2000-03-02 09:10 PM


Obviously a fumbly fingered handyman trying to fix the plumbing and now regretting you did not call a professional.  James
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
15 posted 2000-03-02 09:18 PM


I dont think this poem means anything more than a struggle of sorts. The specifics are different with everyone who reads it. It is all based on interpretation. For me this poem is about trying in vain for the love of a girl (or boy), but being rejected every time. It hurts to try, and it hurts not to. But thats just me. You, as the author, had an intended specific idea for the poem, but it is rendered moot by writing a poem so vague and not explaining   Thats not really a bad thing, it makes us use our imaginations to come up with our own conclusions rather than just accepting someone else's. Am I right?  
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

16 posted 2000-03-02 09:49 PM


I think Michael and Amy are closest to my take...each time i read it ...  this old song came to my mind...

"baby, dont you work so hard for this prize you found...
it will all be gone when you turn around...
NOTHING lasts forever any way"...(not even the pain)
Rick Roberts

well, thats what my small mind came up with...now Im gonna hear that song in my head ALL nite...COOL   janet marie

 When you see through love's illusions, there lies the danger...
And your perfect lover just looks like a perfect fool
So you go running off in search of a perfect stranger
While the loneliness seems to spring from your life
Like a fountain from a pool.

Jackson Browne


Jone
Junior Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 41

17 posted 2000-03-02 11:25 PM


Some of you are doing well.. others... well they're interesting

it's not an addiction.... in the sense of an addiction

sorry but i already had my fill of doughnuts.. and i don't do plumbing.. i'm 18.....

Jon E

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
18 posted 2000-03-03 04:55 AM


Mmmmm
Well I thought it was about a distant love. Someone you saw up close but them drifted away from you until they were almost gone from your mind, but then I got the feeling that maybe they re presented themselves and so just when you thought they were out of your mind and view they appeared and the turmoil in your heart started all over again. May be it's somebody you know you can't have, but want desperatly...I don't know
the beating heart made me think LOVE as well...sorry if I'm wrong

 Keep all the windows of your mind open
Anne Rooks

Jone
Junior Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 41

19 posted 2000-03-04 12:40 PM


One more day...

Jon E

Jone
Junior Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 41

20 posted 2000-03-06 12:11 PM


So as i promised this is what the poem was about

The light at the end of the tunnel was hope
and the drop of the funnel was the hope diminishing

I decided that i had found a way to solve my problems but in the end it just wound up compounding to create more problems

In the end i decided that i would still try to quit all that i had intended to quit.. even though it was going to hurt more to do so.

it was about
frienship and love

the things i was trying to quit.
specific friendships and a specific like


but i have "seen the light" and have fixed my problems... for now... but don't worry... when it becomes a problem again and the pain comes back... you'll see it in another poem

Peace Out

Jon E.


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #6 » This poem is about...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary