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Open Poetry #5
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The Garden
| Open Poetry #5 |
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The Garden |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
The Garden Vines entangled 'neath the fruit of love's labouring, sorrowful sigh, this garden, green and hungry for a watchful, watering eye. Come till the fragrant thistled earth. Come cleanse the soil of stones. Spread seeds of summer's silent songs and grind white, fertile bones. For a garden needs a mindful soul to root and grow and thrive. To yield a moonlight harvest and struggle so to stay alive. This planted plot of sweeping emerald, olive~coloured leaves suffers many a snowy springtide storm as Mother Nature heaves Her bountiful burden, ebbing as the seasons pass and flow o'er a garden, found within the heart of this woman, so long ago. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Meadowmuse - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
Beautifuly spoken, great imagery. I enjoyed it very much. |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
Wonderful.....and welcome to passions...I look forward to more of your writtings  |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Lovely!! Great imagery! What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
What a beautiful poem - welcome to our family. I'm looking out for more!  |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Excellent... Enjoyed muchly. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Lovely, MeadowMuse ... just lovely ! Welcome to our ~Friendship Garden~. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Wonderful visions dancing in my mind, great poem |
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U K Hero Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 266England |
one of the best I have read all week the flow is excellent, one small piece of crit' 'and struggle so to stay alive' does it not sound / flow better without the word 'so! |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Thank you, all, for the earnest welcome and kind comments. I enjoyed so much the work I was able to read here last night, and look forward to reading and posting more with you. UK Hero, funny you should mention that particular line...I struggled "so" with it as well, but thought that the omission of the word might interfere with its (the piece's) meter...I'll keep working on it, though, and perhaps come up with an alternative line that will convey the same concept. Thank you for your suggestion! |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
U K Hero, What about this? Do you think the meter is still compromised? I want to retain the alliteration...though there may be a better word to use. For a garden needs a mindful soul to root and grow and thrive. To yield a moonlight harvest struggling, straining to stay alive. |
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RSEvans Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147Tulsa, OK, USA |
Intense and vivid...you will be a welcome addition to our poetic pantheon. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Thank you, sincerely. I do look forward to reading and exchanging craft with you folks. ~ Claire |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Very beautiful poem--the imagery wonderful and the flow smooth--I love your word garden. In the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. (ee cummings) |
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HM3 Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 169TX |
I enjoyed reading this and (for me) it flows like a gentle breeze. Work like money doesn't matter, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching... |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Well, I've sat and read this at least four times now... ... It's intriguing... You've used some metaphor, personification, and certainly extended metaphor quite adeptly... I'm looking forward to more.... |
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Georgia Junior Member
since 1999-12-22
Posts 32 |
found it interesting to read over and over..nice little twist |
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Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
Yep, me thinks another very talented poet has entered our parlor!! Wonderful!!! Welcome! Welcome! |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
This is truly wonderful! Hope to read more soon! ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~ |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Thank you, one and all, for the gracious welcome and feedback on this piece. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
a lovely garden, Meadowmuse! Welcome to Passions! Denise |
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Tamera Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 121 |
Beautiful words, I cannot wait to see more! |
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