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The Colors of January - A Villanelle for Balladeer
| Open Poetry #5 |
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The Colors of January - A Villanelle for Balladeer |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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THE COLORS OF JANUARY What are the shades of January hues They are the colored wing of Cardinal red They are the colored wing of Blue Jay blues Why do you tell me now unwelcomed news Knowing what my winter heart would dread What are the shades of January hues Why would you now my tender heart accuse Through darkened tones of bitter words unsaid They are the colored wing of Blue Jay blues Why did you then my willing love refuse And grey the sky and brown the flower bed What are the shades of January hues Why does this madness now my soul confuse What saddened colors my poor heart has bled They are the colored wing of Blue Jay blues Will e'er my spirit sing at winter views The sight of holly green and holly red What are the shades of January hues They are the colored wing of Blue Jay blues Elizabeth Santos [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 01-06-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Beautiful, Elizabeth!  Nan- Is this a villanelle now? I wouldn't know, but it is soooooooo beautiful! Denise |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
It works, Elizabeth.... It does, it does.... Know what? I'd make one contraction for the sake of your perfect iambic pentameter (probably just my Bahstun accent).... What if you were to take the "v" out of ever in the first line of the last stanza? "Will e'er my spirit sing at winter views" ... I'm such a metered wench....  |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Nan, THANK YOU! It's done. I'm a meter nut, too, and didn't notice it Liz |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Man Girl....you certainly do catch on fast and well |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Elizabeth, I am so proud of you, you are a very quick learner and a wonderful poetess. Just love your words no matter what the form. *L* Sy |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Wonderfully done, Elizabeth! Villanelles are tough aren't they? Elizabeth "Boys and girls together, me and Mamie O'Rourke Tripped the light fantastic on the sidewalks of New York." |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
By Jove, I think she's got it!!! Nice work, Elizabeth! You, along with Nan, may consider yourselves Meter Maids First Class!! The cigar is yours! Undoubtedly, a sestina will be a walk in the park. After that, we'll get into some toughies! |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Hoot, Thank you kindly Sy, I appreciated your comments, Professor Tabin Elizabeth, I thought this was very easy since half the poem is already predetermined. It's just a matter of filling in the blanks. I wrote this very fast, and it could be much improved upon if I would take the time Thanks, Elizabeth Mr. Balladeer, I don't know what a sestina is, but I've heard it mentioned. Thank you for your comments, and where's the mulligan? I don't smoke cigars. Liz |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Liking this a lot Lizzy...(there: can't do verse but can do assonance! LOL!!!) Wow - I am impressed...I would find this incredibly hard to do - entrenched in FV as I am. Well done my friend - many pats on back.< !signature--> '...I want to be free - free to know people and their backgrounds - free to move to different parts of the world...' Sylvia Plath [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 01-07-2000).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
If you have to ask where your mulligan is, then Sy didn't explain it very well. SESTINA A fixed form consisting of six 6-line (usually unrhymed) stanzas in which the end words of the first stanza recur as end words of the following five stanzas in a successively rotating order and as the middle and end words of each of the lines of a concluding envoi in the form of a tercet. The usual ending word order for a sestina is as follows: First stanza, 1- 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 Second stanza, 6 - 1 - 5 - 2 - 4 - 3 Third stanza, 3 - 6 - 4 - 1 - 2 - 5 Fourth stanza, 5 - 3 - 2 - 6 - 1 - 4 Fifth stanza, 4 - 5 - 1 - 3 - 6 - 2 Sixth stanza, 2 - 4 - 6 - 5 - 3 - 1 Concluding tercet: middle of first line - 2, end of first line - 5 middle of second line - 4, end of second line - 3 middle if third line - 6, end of third line - 1 You done yet??? |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Elizabeth, this is just wonderful... Bittersweet and beautiful... A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! Shannon |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
This is excellent , Liz you are so Talented |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Pepper and Whiskey, you warm my heart Thank you Liz |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Kamla, Thanks, sweetheart. You are so dear. I didn't see your response cause sometimes my mouse slips down the page too fast. I'll talk to you tomorrow Liz Balladeer, Thanks for all your trouble. I got half a sestina done. I'll post it tomorrow. I don't see the sense of it, exept as an exercise in patience. But I must see it completed first. Thank you Liz |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
ok, Elizabeth. I'll wait for it. Life, itself, is an exercise in patience. |
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