Open Poetry #5 |
Cg |
Felix Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 78USA |
cloudy skies < !signature-->means time apart tied in knots like a child's shoelace flashing lights trouble a guy on the drums Flutterby the winged unicorn storybooks that tell my life a painting on the wall catches my eye no one matches not even the coffee with cream an ear a mouth if i was barefoot the floors would be cold in the morning rain a good day the trees no worries none to please just trees Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of being a king, and then became one? - Neil Diamond [This message has been edited by Felix (edited 01-06-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Stacey Sutton - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
i love your sudlties...forgive my spelling i have 6 doses of robbitussim in me...darn flu beautiful poem, and am i disslexic for reading flutterby as butterfly about 6 times lol |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Hi, Felix. I liked your poem, especially the lines about no one to please but the trees and the one about if you were barefoot, the floor would be cold in the morning (get some carpet!) Those are paraphrases, of course. There were a few places where I got confused, where the imagery seemed a little out of place, but on the whole, a very cool piece of wordage. Mike |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Excellent! I don't think I have seen your work before - and I do like this - have a belated welcome to Passions from me. K '...I want to be free - free to know people and their backgrounds - free to move to different parts of the world...' Sylvia Plath |
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Felix Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 78USA |
Kevin- sorry you're sick...hope you get feeling better soon. Mike- I'd explain it but it would take a whole page... so I'll do one little part. "a guy on the drums.....tell my life" First I guess I must tell you that CG stands for Common Grounds...it's a coffee shop and they were having live music that night...and the guy on the drums kept eyein me (he was gorgeous!! and yes he ended up with my number). Flutterby etc. describes how I was feeling from that (It's an old children's book character....a winged unicorn). Severn-I have definately seen some of your work my dear...and my compliments. This IS the first time I've posted in this forum. Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of being a king, and then became one? - Neil Diamond |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Hi, Felix. When you explained the title, I was ... what's the word? Dumbfounded's a lame word, but it'll have to do. It's an interesting bit of coincidence. I'm an editorial assistant at the Daily News in Los Angeles (well, a 'burb of L.A.), and one of my responsibilities is to type up the club listings. Common Grounds happens to be one of them. I doubt it's the same place, though, unless you're talkin' SoCal. Anyway, keep writing! Mike |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Felix - that is a lovely thing to say - thankyou very much! |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Love your poem Trying to find more For you I love the woods, forest and all the trees Love the outdoors, take me please Sweet scent of nature But I'm just a little creature An insect that lands on your leg Overwhelmed by a hunger almost making insect beg For just a little bite of your sweet soft skin Then I fly away leaving a mark where I've been Only to circle and try again It's just a small bite not much pain More like a nip giving you an itch Your body reacts and starts to twitch insect has made himself aware Your twitching body tells you he's there |
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