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Koon
Junior Member

since 2000-01-27

Posts 43
Singapore

0 posted 2000-01-30 09:45 AM

The goddesses' guardian,
The charming queen's gown.
The Garden of Eden,
The royal king's crown.

All things beautiful,
All things small,
And yet I feel
I have it all.

My world has never been blue
Since you came along.
I'm in love with you
My now heart sings a song.

Yes, not blue it will be,
As you have the golden key.
The key to unlock my heart,
And with my sorrows, I part.

And now I end my poem,
Without the slightest bit of solemn.
You may think that I'm a fool,
But all I want to say is I love you.

Koon-

Buffpimp
Junior Member

since 2000-01-23

Posts 39

1 posted 2000-01-30 09:51 AM

ONCE AGAIN KOON :P
Well as always i was very pleased to read this. I have only one comment. Keep your pattern. Try not to stray from your pattern. I do it all the time and I get criticized for it tons, so I dont want to see that happen to you.

This work did have great emotional content and great meaning. Once again, A+
Patrick

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

2 posted 2000-01-30 03:53 PM

A beauitful love song, Koon!!

Denise

Koon
Junior Member

since 2000-01-27

Posts 43
Singapore

3 posted 2000-01-31 08:48 AM

Oh my, receiving comments like these really give me the urge to write more but I'm afraid I won't fare as well. I guess I'll have to learn more from you guys first.

Koon-

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

4 posted 2000-01-31 08:53 AM

When you write what's in your heart, It's always beautiful, as you have already proven.
This is lovely
Liz

Beri
Member

since 1999-11-25

Posts 149

5 posted 2000-02-01 04:08 AM

Koon -- I wouldn't worry about learning more...you are already doing wonderfully! And yes, your style is great too, though I am not one to pay any attention to that -- I just write what I feel however it comes out, even if it has no rhyme or reason, or any style or pattern. I feel that if you mean it, then its good! So keep it up! This was a beautiful poem also!

If you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you, its meant to be...

Koon
Junior Member

since 2000-01-27

Posts 43
Singapore

6 posted 2000-02-01 09:05 AM

Thanx for your replies. I have been wrtiting from my heart and will go on doing that. Thanx for the support!

Koon-

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