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Open Poetry #5
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Building Walls
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Building Walls |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap 
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I built a wall about me, as refuge for my heart, < !signature-->For, disenchanted with the world, I thought to live apart. I thought to build it, first, of sand – a castle just for me – But Love crept in like ocean waves, and swept it out to sea. I fashioned it of oaken limbs, and thought my work was good -- But Love attacked with whetted axe – it split like firewood. I settled next on solid stone – now surely, this would stay! But Love whisked in with tireless winds, and whittled it away. I crafted it of tempered steel – ‘twould certainly suffice! But Love became a blazing heat, and melted it like ice. At last, despairing and afraid, I built my wall of flame, In desperate hope I'd found the thing not even Love could tame. My fiery keep was never breached – now, lonely and in pain, I stand, beseeching cloudless skies, and pray for Love to rain. Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange... --William Shakespeare, from The Tempest [This message has been edited by Skyfyre (edited 01-27-2000).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
A poem does not get more finely crafted than this. Excellent metaphors strung together with dramatic effect. Very well done, Kess. |
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CrazyChick Member
since 2000-01-05
Posts 132 |
You did a great job writting this poem!!!!! It was very well written. I enjoyed it very much  |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
Very deep and well written. You are a very talented writer. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Kess...this is perhaps one of the best poems I have had the honor of reading here or anywhere else. Your rhythm and rhyme are flawless. As Balladeer stated, your use of metaphores is great here. The over all flow and feel to this one is supurb. APPLAUDS!!!! What a wonderful post |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Exceptional work... a wonderful way to start the day, being able to enjoy this wonderful writing. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Every poem you write outshines the previous one! This is absolutely wonderful! Denise |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
What an ending! The more I read, the more I'm amazed by your talent. Keep the ink flowing! |
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Burke New Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 6 |
Words, very beautifuly put together. I feel you. I wish you a blizzard to put out the flames!!! Burke |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is a wonderful work, Kess... I absolutely love it.. It rings sooooo true... How am I ever going to keep up with you???  |
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Terrina Kethryveris Member
since 1999-12-06
Posts 53USA |
Ah my friend you speak the words of my heart. Wonderful job and beautiful poem as always. Terri Truth be known, fantasy is much more appealing than reality. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
kick toodly butt this one did i love it!! |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Skyfyre, I'm new here and don't have the capability to respond to everyone that I'd like, but I feel compelled to respond to you. This poem is absolutely incredible--so beautifully written. It's one of the best I've ever read. It sings to me. This is what I aspire to and what inspires me to write poetry. I printed it out. This one's a keeper. WOW! ~Gene |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
May the clouds o'er head bring forth such a deluge as the world's never seen. Kess, the man who can capture your heart will find that he indeed has a treasure among treasures! |
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angel girl Member
since 1999-07-23
Posts 322within a whisper... |
This is beautiful. The rhyming was wonderful and the message was even better. One touch of nature makes the whole world kin. -William Shakespeare |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Exceptional poetry This is just splendid, but does not surprise me, coming from your poetic mind What an extraordinary poem! Liz |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Your talent shines with this poem like the shine of crystal mean't only to adore. |
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Auricom45 Junior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 19Hialeah, Florida in the U.S.A |
I'm new, so I try to gain insperation from the experienced, and you my friend have it. Excellent poetry and there couldn't be any finer. Keep up the great work, as I know you will. Auricom That strange feeling we had in the war. Have you found anything in your lives since to equal it in strength? A sort of splendid carelessness it was, holding us together. |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
I'm here, I'm here! Sorry I haven't thanked you all sooner ... Bal: If I have indeed achieved the pinnacle of perfection, then there is naught left for me to do -- I beg of you, retract your kind statement that I might aspire again to greatness!  Crazy Chick: Thank you, from a kindred spirit! Rosemary: Your compliment is humbling, madam -- I appreciate it deeply. Ruth: Considering the sheer volume of poetry you read each day, sweet angel, I must reply that I have never been so honored as to read such a glorious compliment in all my months here. You have made my day -- no, make that my week!  Mike: Glad I could brighten your morning -- your work has often brightened mine. Denise: That is my intent, my dear -- let me know if ever I fail!  Master: You are simply too kind, but I am eating it up! (hehehe) Burke: Thank you as well. Nan: You needn't keep up; I have been lucky enough to have a heart that is overflowing of late -- I cannot keep it inside! Terri: and of mine, my friend, as you well know. There are good reasons why we are best friends. walt: woohoo! I'm not sure what toodly butt is, but it sounds good to me! u_gene: I am flattered that you spent a moment to give me your thoughts. I will be looking for your work ... Liz: (blushing) My cup runneth over with such gracious praise ...  Christopher: You gotta stop saying such nice things to me, I might feel compelled to be NICE to you or something, and that would be no fun at all ... Angel girl: Thanks muchly! Lost Dreamer: What a poetic reply, I love it! Might I use that line in a poem..? Auricom: There is no greater praise than to hear that I have inspired someone. Thank you so much for taking the time to tell me so! Smooches and hugs all (I'm feeling warm and fuzzy 'round the edges here), --Kess |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is an exceptional poem, well crafted and thought out--lovely words, well--everything--great job! |
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